My birthdays really just going to be me and baby

I just feel so…. My birthdays Friday and I’m in the middle of breaking up with my sons father who I still live with and we works usually go on a little road trip which wasn’t planned anyways because baby’s still little. But my friend just got stuck with a shift and my friend who lives in the bay just told me she can’t come out this weekend. I really just wanted to go to the farmers market and lunch but I feel stupid and embrassed taking baby out just for that. I just keep thinking about it and getting sad. Really trying to figure out how I ended up this alone