Mums VS dads
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I lost my absolute mind on my husband this morning in a tear filled rage after only getting 2 hours of sleep with our 6 week old in 24 hours. ( i was not abusive. Mostly just crying and a raised voice) But after seeing me and hearing me cry and be frustrated that he gets to complain about being tired after getting 2 4 hour stretches of sleep everyday for several days now. But between the baby fussing from reflux and my anxiety about him sleeping and then not being able to nurse i just can’t sleep at all. He was like “oh. I screwed up babe.” And now we’re going to work out a sleep schedule. He has baby from 8pm-12am and i can use the time to sleep or shower or whatever and then i have him from 12am-6am. And then hubby takes him for 1-2 more hours before work. And then i have baby from 8am-8pm. We pump and supplement formula which is why this is easier. Also important to have an app that we can both update to know when baby last did whatever thing.
I hate the statement ‘well, you’re a mum, that’s just how it is’ no. It shouldn’t be and that statement is toxic you are 50-50 responsible for both children. You need to sit down and tell him what you want, he needs to say what he wants and then you need to reach a compromise. If he isn’t willing, how much of an issue is this for you? Because I know for me if my partner wouldn’t even discuss a compromise I’d be considering ending it. Best of luck!
I think I’m about to be in the same boat. Woke up with a UTI and got sick from my husband with something else that’s also causing fevers (got that first so that probably lead to the UTI). And my husband is about to work a double from 9-8. I begged him to please stay home because he’s also sick. But he just will not call out and prioritize being home ever. I know it’s because of the financial strain we’re in but my gosh sometimes I just wanna shake him and to tell him to look right in front of him
I’ve recently split from my husband for pretty much this reason. He’s ill/tired spends all day in bed. We have a 1 year old and Ive not really slept since my newborn was born 3 weeks ago but I don’t get that luxury to sleep all day. I asked for more support and got told to move in with my parents like it’s their responsibility so on that note if he won’t step up I may as well be on my own.
Thank you all for responding. As much as I hate that mums go through this, I am glad I'm not alone in this. I really hope you all can get the support you deserve 🩵🩵
It doesn’t help in the moment, but this will pass…. Somehow parenting those two will get easier than this…. Hang in there mama
Update: he said “I can’t call out of work based on how YOU feel” ima kill him
I’m sorry @Melanie ! You are in the trenches for sure ! Praying for you today
Dads are entitled to time out of work for childcare, he needs to read up on that. I've just got over being really poorly and my other half essentially had a week off to help me. He's now trying really hard to catch up at work...but some things are more important if it's absolutely necessary.
@Melanie OMG they just don't get it do they!! I got a text saying, "trust me I'm more stressed"🫠
No way he said that 😭
Won't change a nappy or have his kids by himself? What a useless "man" he is, good grief! My OH is a PITA at times, but he has looked after our baby since the day she was born, even had her a whole weekend by himself when she was 12 weeks old! He is a very capable father, so your husband is honestly just ick.
I also still do the nights and have tonsillitis. I get a lot sicker when she has a rough night and I shift illnesses much slower… but I get tons of help in the day from my husband and his parents come over and help me sleep too, so I can at least get some rest and get better in the day. It’s so tough being sick with a baby and toddler. Definitely talk to your husband about needing to sleep to get better… you need to recover to help everyone else 🤗
Hes coming home early 🙌 lost the battle, won the war 😂
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ABSOLUTELY NOT. TF. Don't let him get away with it. First stop with the "division of labour" business w the kids. It can only work with 1 kid. Now you both need to handle both kids not this is ny part and that's yours. So what if one can't handle both?? Women need to stop with this nonsense of letting these characters play you. When he's not at work he can take the kids out for the day tf. If everyone is sick he needs to take that day off. He's a dad too so don't be fooled into thinking he's that incapable ok. Once you get better it's time to change things in your household. Feel better soon. Xx
It's not just you. Show him this post. Sometimes men realise how ridiculous their arguments sound when they're written down.