Is it emotional abuse

Husband has always got furious and irate when I miss his calls. Even when he knows exactly where I am like literally with a ring camera. Even if he knows I’m in a conversation with someone. He says he feels it’s irresponsible because he could be calling over an emergency. He works outside the home. I take care of our toddler and help run the business he started. Maybe he has a point (don’t know how I’d help him in an emergency better than 911) But…. The level of anger he shows and the disrespect, nasty tone, yelling and swearing is in my opinion over the top. Sometimes we’re busy and we can’t answer the phone. I don’t think it’s anything to get that furious about. But I love some feedback. It causes me severe stress to the point of physical pain. He doesn’t care. If I cry he gets really really angry. He has never hurt me but he has seethed with rage before which feels stressful and awful. He already has a lot of control over me. When I don’t pick up the phone it’s an honest mistake. I never ignore the calls. If I could be perfect about it to avoid the hell I go through I would. He’s bad tempered and emotional and unforgiving and I have other deep issues with him. But I can’t leave him for financial reasons. First I’d love to know if I’m actually in the wrong. Second what can I do to stop his anger towards me over what he considers serious mistakes. Thanks mommy pals!

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It is emotional abuse, and unfortunately, men like this. They never show violence immediately. It slowly starts to come out overtime just because he never physically harmed you don’t put it past him that he won’t when they have anger issues. And the fact that it causes you stress so much it causes you physical pain. He is literally causing you a slow death. You do not deserve this. I know financially you can’t leave right now, but I would make a plan be prepared because you don’t know when he will snap. And sometimes living in a shelter or on the streets is better than living with someone who could potentially murder you in a fit of rage. Be safe. Build a support system. Tell your family and friends so that if something does happen they aren’t blindsided and they can help you make a plan to leave.

Thank you for taking the time and care to write back❤️❤️❤️ I think the only reason why he hasn’t done much worse is because I am a pretty passive. Not because I want to be, but because I’ve always thought about sizing up the opponent. Maybe that’s helpful in the moment, but in the long run, it is basically just indecision. He got a very passive agreeable wife that tries to follow his dumb rules and it’s not enough for him. Thank you for being a friend and being honest ❤️❤️❤️ i’m going to start looking at a real escape plan. I don’t think this is good for my daughter because I try to be mature and stoic, but she sees me suffer even though I try to hide it.

Yeah that was what got me to get out of a bad situation… my kids… them seeing me unhappy even though I tried to hide it… kids always know. And I realized that no matter what I am my kids first role model. I have to show them the kind of relationships they deserve in life by showing them that I deserve happy healthy relationships and not just toxic ones. I wanted my kids to never settle. And I knew if I stayed that’s what I would teach them. I have a boy and a girl and i didn’t want him to be like his dad or her to be like me and stay and take the abuse. I had to put my complicated feelings at the time aside and do what’s right for my babies. And now my kids have no memories of me being abused cuz it was so long ago now and that’s a big way to break the cycle of abuse! You got this! Our kids give us so much strength! 🫶🏻

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