My mother wants me to have a birthday party for my twins after three years of nobody wanting to come.

My twins will be 4 April 30. The first birthday people promised to show, caused us a lot of expense to throw a party and I think we had 3 guests. 2nd birthday was the same. So much work I did with no help while trying to do all the childcare. One guest came for the second birthday. Nobody that we had attended their birthdays came, sent a gift or even wished the children happy birthday. Hours of preparation, planning, cleaning, shopping, food prep, and cost all fell on me alone. Last year I did not have a party. It was nice. I only spent what I wanted to and their was no disappointment. My mom was angry their was no party last year but didn't even mention it until the birthday had long past. She has told me today she wants a party. Even if we do it with minimal cost it's a lot of work for me. The cleaning, planning, invitations. My children do not have any friends at all. My sons disabilities have made people distance themselves. He does not have age appropriate abilities and nobody wants to be around. I have not had any luck in almost two years of making any new ones. I do not have any friends either. I'm an older mom who had child free by choice friends. They stopped coming by/returning texts years ago. We have been to a few birthday parties for other children in the last year but have not had any playdates with them in ages. Do I invite these children who most likely won't come? How would I deal with disappointment from my typically developing twin if nobody comes ? My mom claims she will make the cake but that's only one task of a thousand id have when I'm already exhausted and burnt out from the daily work my disabled child requires. They are only going to be 4 years old would it be wrong of me to cancel the party again?

Show your support

You could just have a small party w only family

@Kapp that's still a problem with people showing up. My mom is flakey as anything, my brother won't care and the inlaws don't see the kids at all. They just don't care about them

Not wrong at all. 3 years of nobody showing up? Nah, f*ck that. F*ck y’all. I think that would be enough for me to not throw them a party again and go do a road trip or activities instead with them. I did my son’s 5th birthday party last year. I sent out invitations about 2 months in advance. Nobody showed up except my side of the family. It’s only 1 time, I know. I let it go but I was honestly upset. I was disappointed. I’m really on the fence right now if I should do a birthday party or take him on a road trip/do activities instead this year. Maybe it’ll be different as he’s in school now, he can invite his classmate/friends . Hell, I don’t have friends myself. I’ll be your friend! I have a nephew who is on the spectrum. I will NOT turn any child away from me and/or my kids because of their disability. They are loved and equal like any other kids 💙

Why would it matter if your mom wants a party if she barely shows up let alone anyone else. It’s not her birthday. Absolutely NOT. Do an activity with your kids.

if she want a party so bad then she can orchestrate it. end of story she don’t want to be troubled with putting in money and work then you shouldn’t have to be bothered having a party you don’t want.

I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Putting together parties just for no one to show up would upset me. Since they’re only 4, they won’t remember who showed up to a party or even what they did on their birthday. Take them to a fun little restaurant like the sugar factory and then take them to the park to let them run around to their hearts desire. As long as they’re surrounded by people that love them, you and your husband, that will be better than any party that you could’ve put together. Also, don’t go to any more of those kids parties. If those parents are too trifling to come with their kids or even cash app $10 after you’ve been to their bad ass kids party, you can save your money and time on people that do show up for you. Lastly, you’re going to make some friends. I know what it feels like to be in that space where you just want a friend to really talk to, but that’s going to come. Just focus on you and your kids needs, and don’t let anyone ruin your babies’ birthday

Do what you wanna do, not what your flaky mum, who can't be arsed to show up for her grandchildren anyway, wants to do

Wait until your kids start school and make their own friends. Save money while you can.

@Jasmine I'm not sure we are going to make any friends. It's been constant trying for years now. Anything outside is not an option right now because we are in Canada and there's snow. My son is disabled so parks are not an option year round. He has medicated feeds so no restaurant. We will likely just stay home.

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