Toxic siblings

Right from inception, my twin has been envious of me. From the moment I got engaged to when I was getting married 10 years ago to how she frustrated me and acted on my wedding day(she nearly ruined everything with her tantrums). After I got married, I decided to move on and focus on my marriage. Along the line, my husband and I lost our jobs and could barely stand on our feet. Since she was acting so supportive to me, especially after I gave birth, I figured she had changed and was now more mature, so I opened up to her about the financial issues hubby and I were facing in confidence, knowing that family is always there for one another, but I was wrong. She then started sending me some money regularly. Little did I know that she was going to reveal my situation to my brother and other people, thereby mocking and speaking ill of my family and me consistently behind my back. So recently, she had a big fight with my elder brother which made him go to my husband out of vengeance and spite to reveal all the shameful things she told him and his wife about my family. Although I wasn't present when my brother revealed those things to my hubby, my hubby felt so low and disappointed but he kept his cool and advised my brother to resolve the family issues between him and my sister regardless. Knowing that my brother must have revealed the nasty things she gossiped about me, my sister started keeping a tab on me, checking on me out of guilt to know what was discussed and to weigh my mind, but I've been ignoring her calls. On the one hand, I know I can't ignore her forever, on another hand, my silence is making her feel uneasy and suspicious of what I may have heard. Also, I don't want my husband to be seen as the bad guy who told me about all that my brother revealed to him and wants a family feud. I want to be able to maintain my distance and also protect my husband's dignity from my family members by not letting them know he told me what was said because knowing my sister as a manipulative person who wished she got married before me would keep trying to make my hubby look bad to other family members to cover her wrongdoings. How do I navigate this whole issue?
Like
Share Mobile
Share
  • Share

Show your support

I understand that you want to save your husband's dignity but it isn't his that's in question, it's hers. She obviously has none. Your husband did the right thing by telling you. If you decide to bring this up, I would make sure your brother is there as well, so she can't back peddle her way out of it. I believe this is between the 3 of you, and that way she also can't say that anyone made anything out to be more or less than it truly was.

@Melissa this is a valid advice, but this is a person that can lie against a person in the person's presence. This has happened many times in my presence and I was completely shocked when I witnessed it. And from that moment, I knew this is a dangerous person. You can't win against her, as she usually fights dirty and mostly out to destroy. She can mess things up just to make others look bad, while she walks out on top. She also went to tell my brother lies about me and I need to vindicate myself, but no proof. It's really tricky waters and I need solution and vindication.

I don't understand why you haven't gone no contact with these people who treat you like this? I've cut people out of my life for less . Truth is that ppl treat you how You Allow them to treat you. It's you and your husband now stop putting everybody in your business.. especially unmarried ppl that's a huge no go!!! If you don't have boundaries then neither will anyone else that's dealing with you 😔

Read more on Peanut
Trending in our community