Do you find fixing a man’s lunch everyday as motherly. Or doing his laundry etc?

Without considering the dynamics of the home I will argue that if someone didn't make the lunch for them and they were to just make their lunch no problem then it is a partner thing. If they whine and can't make a sandwhich without intervention its a motherly thing.

When it was just my (ex) husband and I, I would religiously make him fresh chicken, rice and veg or pack him a lunch ready for work. I would get up extra early to do that, plus popping his clothes on the radiator so they were warm when he woke up etc. I did it because I loved doing it and it was the way I showed him love. I was up at 6 doing it before I had to leave for the gym and work myself. He could do it himself but I wanted to. He would show me love back by building anything we ever needed for the house. It's just people's love languages and I would do it for friends or family too

I pack my husbands lunch if he is having leftovers. It’s easy to do that when we are cleaning up from dinner. If he is not taking leftovers, he makes his own. I don’t see it as being motherly. He doesn’t expect it and wouldn’t ask me to do it. We do nice things for each other all the time. Taking care of each other is part of being married.

So is doing anything domestic “mothering your man” 😒 I’m home way more than him so I do the laundry 99% of the time. What am I gunna do - mine and my daughter’s laundry and separate his to not do? We’re a family. If I cook dinner, am I going to exclude him from the meal because he didn’t help make it? No because guess who worked 12 hours so I could have a meal to cook? Him. He very helpful when he’s around but marriage is a partnership and if you only look out for yourself it’s not gunna work out. It’s only mothering if he has no idea what to do if I’m not present.

It depends on the attitude the man has behind it. I loved packing my man’s lunch but once baby was born I stopped because it fell down on my priorities list, the grown man can figure out how to feed himself when I don’t have the time or energy to pack his lunch. 🤷‍♀️ I package up leftovers into meal sized portions still but I’m not packing a whole lunch box at 4am unless I’m awake already.

My husband comes home for lunch. He prefers cooking himself for everyone. He’s picky so it works out. I do all the cleaning and I primarily care for the baby. He helps out when he’s home. I do his laundry bc it’s mixed w mine. He definitely helps when he’s off tho

@Francesca Perfect! I definitely understand when couples pour into each other it definitely gives partnership.

@Kim exactly! You both have a partnership and it’s not expected but appreciated. Also he’s willing to fix his own which is great. It sounds like you all support one another and work as partners. I’m referring to marriages that the wife is expected to do it all and if not she’s not being a “good” wife. However if she’s doing it all then to me she’s being motherly. To me she’s taking care of a grown child. A person who doesn’t want to help or think it’s not his job to help. He feels he went to work so he shouldn’t have to do those things.

@Denise so again it sounds like you have a partnership. When the women is expected to do it all while her man does nothing because he worked is not ideal. You said that your man helps when he can that’s different. However if he doesn’t want to help or doesn’t think he should that’s not partnership. That’s mothering. Again if he splits aka help where he can or tries that’s different. Motherly refers to a man who thinks it’s all on the woman that he doesn’t need to parent, help around the house, give you a break etc. Isn’t that being motherly?

@Parker 又 Yes exactly! He should know how to do for himself and do it if necessary. If his wife is busy with children and running late on dinner he should be open to either helping her with kids or starting dinner. Not pressing her about when she will cook. Then standing around while she’s struggling to balance it all. Just waiting instead of assisting. The man feels like he did his part because he worked but also feels he shouldn’t have to parent, cook, clean etc.

@Ali perfect! Sounds like you all have a partnership and that’s beautiful!!! Thanks for understanding. This post wasn’t about women helping their SO is considered being motherly. It was about the lack of participation as partners. Some women are expected to do it all because the man feels he works and that’s his part. He doesn’t assist or try to because he leaves it all on the woman which makes her mom figure towards him more than a partner.