Does it ever get any easier?

I have a 14 month old boy. He is driving me absolutely crazy with his terrible sleep. I am so damn tired of fighting him for hours every day, sometimes I just feel like shutting the door and leaving him to cry because I've had enough. Currently he wakes somewhere between 7-8am. I aim for roughly 3 hour wake window. I usually do bottle, nappy change, cuddle with music to transition to nap. Sometimes he will go down so well. I put him in a crib beside the bed. But most nights he is still in our bed and I really want this to stop. It's the afternoon nap that's the trouble. Even on 30 mins nap morning, I cannot get him to have an afternoon nap. Is it time to drop a nap? Because I am over the fight. Most times I just give up and bring him back down to play after an hour of trying. And then we have the problem of being over tired and even trying to nap himself at 5/6pm, when bedtime is 8pm this is obviously not working out. The nights he naps late the bedtime is also a nightmare. We have a solid routine bath, bottle, cuddles, trying to put him in his own crib is a struggle. Last night he was up every 20 mins 8-11pm. I finally had enough and just let him sleep on the couch so I could decompress. Then he slept in our bed again. I'm considering Ferber but this kid is stubborn. Stage 5 clinger. And I'm at breaking point. He still wakes 2-3 times a night for no reason. I feel so lost on what to do next. How do you even do Ferber if you're room sharing? Do we drop a nap and push morning nap time? Any help is graciously welcomed 🙏🏼

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Some 14 month olds are ready for 1 nap for sure, and if teaching sleep independence I would probably go ahead and move to 1 nap a day and follow training you are comfortable with and can follow through with (and one that your baby will come to adapt to). Some babies hate the constant check ins at this age, so just tread carefully. Training should start at bedtime, so feed 45 mins before bedtime, bath and bedtime routine, and into his crib wide awake. I would probably move the crib away from your bedside (if you want him still in the room that’s ok) but move him further away from you. Adopt Ferber if that’s what you feel comfortable with. If you share the bedroom overnight, when he wakes overnight and cries, essentially don’t rush to move:make noise, and stay quiet and calm whilst ‘waiting.’ You could also sleep elsewhere if that’s an option for the first few nights. It’s a tough age to train in because he has been helped to sleep for 14 months but it can and will work.

So train initially at bedtime, then the next day, nap time. You may have to gradually transition to 1 nap over a good few days - 1 week, by moving nap 1 later every few days and offer a small 2nd nap if that’s needed. Until nap is around 4.5-5 hours after morning. Lots of distraction and yes baby will appear tired for sure. If you keep on a 2 nap schedule I would encourage more like 3.5 hour windows before nap 1 and 2 and you may need up to 4 before bed. 7am up 10:30-12 nap 3:30-4:30 nap 8/8:30 bed. Reason I’ve said transition to 1 is due to lack of sleep independence and training for 2 naps at this age may be more trouble than it’s worth. But you can for sure, and just be consistent and understand it will be tough initially.

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