For the mums that need to hear this♥️

I had the exact same birth with my daughter almost 8 months ago, induced, emergency buzzer pulled 3 times for her heart rate and rushed to theatre for a C-Section. Thank you SO much for this! I wasn’t present for maybe the first 4 weeks of my daughters life and I will never forgive myself for this but the pain was unbearable, I ended up back in hospital due to infection, grief that I’d missed out on the ‘magical’ birth id always dreamt of. I pushed every single thought to the back of my mind surrounding my birth, every detail it’s like I’ve blacked out of my mind. Thank you so so much❤️

Please message me! Xx

I’m commenting because I need to come back and read this once my littles are in bed.

I felt like this with my 1st 14 years ago, and I feel like this now with my third. I really wanted to have a water birth unmedicated as possible this time. However, relatively the same scenario, my sons heart rate was dropping significantly. Both my sections were emergencies, and both I feel like I was robbed of the birth I wanted. All 3 of my children had to be placed in nicu immediately so Ive never had the skin to skin/ bonding/breastfeeding I wished for. My youngest is 5 months now and I reminisce my birthing experience a lot and wish I could input/delete certain parts. Thank you for your post, and I'm so glad to hear that you are on the path to healing. I think some times we just need to talk. Sending love x

I’ve felt like this since my section, but my section had no complications and went “perfect” so I feel like I’m not allowed to be upset that I ended up there.. it’s hard x

@Aimee no of course you’re allowed to be upset! Everyone has an expectation of birth, whether it’s vaginal or planned section. No matter how your birth went you are allowed to feel a type of way about it! If you need to talk you can always message me❤️x

I understand your feelings and they remind me of an article/interview i read about Kate Winslet who also gave birth via c-section and she was ashamed of that and felt like a failure for not giving birth naturally. It took her some time to open up and talk about it x Otherwise in my personal experience as a woman with tocophobia (extreme fear of giving birth), having a c-section was the only option for me, and I gave almost all my life savings to have it done privately. I met a woman in the private hospital who had her first via traumatic birth in the nhs and she paid in the private hospital for her second. I think in some cases c-section isn’t administered properly by the nhs and it may be that yours wasn’t done as well as it should have been? Maybe it is a case of negligence if you suffered too much and you recovered slowly? I hope that’s not the case, though. But it’s good you are asking questions as you deserve to know what happened and if you were treated with utmost care.

I found it super helpful to talk about my birth experience. Like over and over again to anyone who would listen, and to hear other women’s experiences too. It’s been quite healing and helped me take it in stride. I can talk about it without crying now and even plan to have another baby if I can

So glad to hear that i’m not alone in having negative thoughts towards my c-section. i’m so happy my son was born healthy, it just sucks to experience such a traumatic birth 😖

I had emergency with my son 3 and a half years ago and havent ever got over it not to mention im having another in over a week and im honestly ill and not sleeping with the worry of it and then the recovery after its sad as we are just expected to get on with it and be thankful that baby got her safe which of course we are just feel my body failed me when we see all these stories of how well some ladies did in labour etc

Birth reflections is so worth it if your hospital offers it. I didn't do it but recently had a meeting with my consultant and midwife to discuss my next birth and they told me because my daughter was large and importantly in a back to back position, that was why i ended up in theatre, which no-one told me at the time 3.5 years ago, even though I asked. Having the missing part of the story has helped quite a lot.

I had both my kids through c section and because i decided i wanted a c section… which ever way you had your baby is fine and miracle and amazing … and you need to be proud because of it …natural its very painful and c section as well ..but for me i chose c section because i didnt want to go through those painful contractions for natural birth …😳 God bless our babies and us mommies 🙏✨

Personally I think most of the women that feel upset and unhappy or that something if wrong with either them or the procedure itself comes from health professionals and their push at mums to have their kids vaginally which makes you feel down when something goes wrong. And as someone that had 2 vaginal deliveries which both went wrong and I happy that I chose c section for my third. Honestly, if I were to have any more babies I would go back to c section, hurt less and recovered quicker than the 2 vaginal births.

@Lauren your amazing Lauren! Remember that. Nothing prepared me at all for a c-section but I felt so alone during and after it. I felt like no one could ever understand the pain I was going through. But your not alone and I’m glad you and your daughter are okay♥️♥️

@Neli I think it's not only the pressure to have a vaginal birth. It's about feeling that you were robbed of a choice or that your feelings weren't considered. Everyone I know who feels like their birth went wrong (vaginal or c-section) felt that way because they at some point lost control of their birth and didn't feel properly supported by the medical team. Those who had satisfying births (vaginal or c-section) felt supported and respected in their choices along the way. It's not so much the result that matters but how you were treated and how much control you had.

I think people missed the point of this post as well.. everyone is entitled to their own choices to opt for a section. Unfortunately this doesn’t stop the trauma for those who didn’t opt for it 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

@Aimee thank you Aimee, the post exactly. It’s about showing others it’s okay not to be okay🫶🏻♥️

I had a very similar experience, except I felt like I was being pushed to continue to try and birth vaginally. The fact that I ended up asking for a c section because I couldn’t keep listening to my boys heart rate dropping makes me feel like a failure and that I couldn’t keep going. The birth reflection appointment really helped me realise I made the right decision for my boys safety. His head wasn’t in the correct position so would have resulted in a c section even if I’d have kept trying, and could have been more serious if he’d have been left to endure the stress of labour for longer. I must of known something didn’t feel right but I was made to feel like I was giving up