Mental health(Please help me)

I am 5 weeks postpartum and I’m experiencing lots of negative thoughts I keep thinking to myself what did I get myself into by having a baby? All I keep thinking is that I don’t want to do this for the rest of my life. I have been freaking out when taking care of my daughter and my fiance has to take over and I feel so guilty about it. Lately I been getting extremely anxious when she cries or fusses and results me into having an anxiety attack. My fiance and I had been trying to have a baby for a 1 year and now that she’s here I just want to give up and run away and feel like she’s better off without me. Please someone tell me that these feelings go away and I start to enjoy taking care of my daughter. Since I have been having these freak outs my mom has been taking her for some nights and every time I dread for her to come back. When she’s not here I can’t seem to enjoy the non mom day because all I think about is her coming back and being scared. My fiance also goes back to work soon and I’m dreading it as the days come closer because I’m supposed to be a SAHM and I feel like I won’t be able to handle it. This is the life I dreamt of with the LOML but I’m so so afraid of not wanting my baby because how could I think this way about her? But when I have her i feel happy and love when she smiles and sleeps on me. Will these negative feelings go away? Will I enjoy my baby? I’m so tired of feeling this way I get so angry at myself because I’m supposed to be happy and enjoying these moments. I’m also having a hard time falling asleep as these scary dark thoughts run thru my head. I will also be seeing my OB this Monday to talk to her about what I’m experiencing. So please if anyone reads this please tell me it gets better because I keep thinking this won’t get better and I’ll be miserable for the rest of my life..

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first thing is, don't put the pressure on yourself to enjoy every moment of this. newborn care is HARD. it is so hard and it doesn't always feel rewarding. there are so many feelings to be had right now, not just from having to care for a baby, but being so freshly postpartum. and all of those feelings are understandable. secondly, don't feel guilty for having your partner take over. that's his baby, too! this is crucial for not only their bonding, but so that you don't build resentment for being the one doing the vast majority of care. you need rest and he needs time with baby. it's a win-win! thirdly, yes, you will absolutely enjoy your baby even if doesn't feel like it right now. in fact, you have said yourself that you have moments when you are happy and feel so much love for her. those are the moments that make the hard times bearable. as she gets older, you'll get more moments where you feel like you know what you're doing and you'll get better sleep and develop a routine.

it does get better! just take it all one day at a time and rely on your village as much as you're able. and lastly, I'm SO proud of you for making your appt with your OB to talk about how you're feeling. ppd is a very serious and legitimate concern so getting ahead of it is the priority right now. you are doing a wonderful job even if it doesn't feel like it right now. communicate your needs with your partner and just remember that you will see the other side of this, there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I don't know you but I love you!

Take it easy. Having kids is so hard - specifically the first 2 years. Adjusting to a newborn while being the one responsible for this fragile innocent life is incredibly difficult as well as dealing with allllll the changes, in your body, in your brain etc. So many things come into play. Ask for support, from your fiancé, from your family, from professionals. You’re def not alone. But it does get better; or at least it settles. You will find your balance and your routine but it happens slowly. Sending love.

Speaking as someone that has PPD, it sucks and yes, it's overwhelming. But with the right help and possibly medication ( I am on setraline), it will get better. And you will enjoy all the hugs' kisses and ouchies.

Girl! Take it easy! I was terrified when I was pregnant because I don’t have family in the city to help and my bf was working overtime. Then the baby came and I didn’t have a choice but to take care of her 24/7 by myself with my house looking a mess. I had so much anxiety and was so scared but I didn’t know why anyways my anxiety has gotten SO MUCH BETTER she’s almost 3 months! When you have negative thoughts replace them with positive thoughts. Taking care of a newborn is hard! So it’s normal not to enjoy every moment! Do not feel bad! Things will get better with time!

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