So my partner left for good
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Sorry 😞 that is tough.. How old is baby and you? Is there some housing help you can get...u said mortgage so.. your not in a rental which usually ppl are in and then homeless after splitting. He left u with house and bills or it was always urs? I'm confused, he sent us text..u got excited about the baby... was baby not born? Depression is real, and so is after baby blues after it s born. Did u all have an oops baby or hail Mary save us together and relationship baby.. why he not attached.. aside from he saying not his. Why ur fault.. and u saw how kids turned out... which kids.. more kids? Babies need love and care and help and attention. Adoption, is something to consider after you're in healthy state of mind not stressed... but my concern is adoption and abuse unless the child abs u were already in abuse life. Tough..
I just want to say he sounds like a fucking narcissist!! He had his flying monkeys ready to go! So you deserve way better than him! Is there anyone you can talk with who could help? Your parents? Family? Just know that when you are with narcissists they make you feel so worthless and unloveable and incapable… but none of it is true. They say that to break you cuz they know what you are capable of! So don’t listen to anything he tells you! You got this!
Before you jump the gun, call citizens advice talk to charities, and explore your options. Adoption is great, but only if you have the right mindset. You need to get a lawyer and see what is what. If you have a mortgage, I assume that it has been on both of your names. So he can't just up and quit. Ultimately, there are options you can explore, but the most important question is, are you ready for a fight? It won't be easy, and from the sounds of everything, he will try and give blows below the belt. But so can you... Take some time off and talk to someone, and once the emotions are more under control Take action. Lots of love ❤️
Get a paternity test done and file for child support! It takes two to make that baby and he should be just as responsible in helping!
Trust me, you can do this. Speak to citizens advice as to where you stand with the mortgage etc. If he's on it, it's his responsibility too. Is he on the birth certificate? If so claim child maintenance, if he's arguing it then tell him to get a paternity test, but for now he needs to pay for a child he helped create. My daughter (now 10) and I were left on our own at 4 months old, he upped and left and left me with rent/bills to pay. I did it, got help financially through benefits etc. His family was toxic, blamed me for everything, said my daughter wasn't his but he was happy and willing to sign the birth certificate so until he could prove otherwise he had to pay (he never did get a paternity test) you can do this! X
@Ali I’m in my third trimester. he begged me to buy a house with him so I did, but he owns 90% of it on the title. He begged me for a baby but he knew that I was terrified of being abandoned to raise the baby alone. He promised that would not happen and I believed him. Then it got worse. He has 3 kids from his divorce and they are awful. I know you shouldn’t say bad things about children but they are violent, cruel, and horrid. They accused me of abuse because I fed them vegetables when they were 10,8,6. I’m sorry, I was very upset when I wrote that so it’s thin on details. I’m sorry
@Lyss no, I have no friends or family left. It’s just me. I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been
Hey no incognito you aren’t stupid!! I say this as someone who has been there!! You aren’t stupid!! You wanted to be loved!! You wanted to have hope and believe!! That’s not stupid!! If anyone is stupid ifs this dick of a man!! 🫂
@Lyss I just can’t believe I put up with it and I bought a life into this world. Now, I know I’m going to be fighting for 18 years. I have nothing to offer this baby
@Natalia I offered him a DNA test. He doesn’t want one
Yeah I get that… im so sorry… you and the child didn’t deserve what he did!! At the end of the day, you know best for yourself. Just don’t close doors entirely. Like if you go through adoption maybe consider leaving it an open adoption so the child can find you if they need to for their own reasons. Or maybe consider someone who instead can take legal guardianship so that maybe in a year when you are more settled you can to get the baby back. Cuz at the end of the day you will always be their mom and you know what you have to offer. And sometimes to love someone you have to make sacrifices like giving up your child… but sometimes what you need is inside you but the break up makes it hard to see… but I do hope you find support no matter what you decide! 🫶🏻
My dear, you are strong and courageous to share your struggle. The thing that stuck with me the most is that you love your baby. I Believe you can keep your baby and make it work if you consider other options also. Ie. Work remotely. Sell the house, reduce expenses, get a cheap apartment. Apply for govt assistance. Lean on family, ask for a loan. Gofundme? The community has a responsibility towards you and you weren't meant to do this alone. A man who doesn't take care of his own child cannot be depended on or respected, so good riddance. Please ask for and accept help from others.