Baby refuses crib at night & partner annoyed

Hi all. 6 month old ebf baby (just started weaning) refuses to sleep in his crib at night once he’s woken once. He goes off ok sleepy but awake with some soothing and does his naps in there. But once he’s woken for a late feed he’s awake every 2 hours and becomes hysterical if not taken out. Only things that work are the boob and occasionally cuddling but only out of the crib - he absolutely will not go back down in the crib until he’s rocked or fed to sleep. I think sometimes he’s hungry as he’s very distracted in day with feeds but mostly he just hates the crib at night it seems. My partner wants to leave him to CIO to “accept we won’t take him out”. I am refusing to do this and I will pick him up after it becomes clear in a few minutes he won’t settle as I feel there’s something not right and I want to comfort him. It’s causing a strain on our relationship tbh as I keep being told “something has gone badly wrong”. I do co sleep but not all night as I don’t find it that comfortable so that’s only a solution for me from 4am ish. But I can’t keep waking up every 2 hours and rowing with my partner each time either. Any advice or anyone else in similar situation?

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I am so sorry but this is such a red flag. Your partner is not in the right here in my opinion. A baby that young is not manipulative and will not take bad habits because you hug and comfort him. Men are useless regarding the care of the baby the first few months. However partner/husband have the responsability to and should take care of you. It starts with letting you be the mother you want to be and trust your instincts. If he is not willing to accept that a baby cries and needs to be comforted, maybe you should put some laxative in his food, remove toilet paper and let him cry in the restroom for an hour, see if he can self soothe 💕

A lot of babies still wake up for a night feed at that age. My daughter is 9 months and still wakes up 2-3 times a night for a night feed. So I feed and put back in crib. That’s completely normal! Now if the baby was older and didn’t need the feed then I get it more but no they need the feed to grow and you shouldn’t ignore that baby. It’s just called being a parent.

My baby is 16 months old, still breastfeeding and co-sleeping. He wakes every hour some nights. Your baby is entirely biologically normal. What isn’t normal is your husband’s attitude towards your baby. You absolutely shouldn’t be leaving your 6 month old baby to cry until they give up and realise nobody is coming and absolutely should continue being a great mum and responding to their needs. Nothing has gone wrong, your baby is being, a baby. I’d suggest your husband educates himself on infant sleep as often these kind of attitudes come from lack of knowledge and awareness. Next time your husband is upset or angry or feeling anything he’d like to talk about really, simply walk away from him and refuse to engage and completely ignore what it is he’s asking for. He won’t like it.. so why would he expect your baby to endure such treatment x

Thanks all. I understand your meaning. Partner doesn’t want to like do extinction method crying but feels we are creating a habit by picking him up without leaving it 5-10 mins and me then feeding which I can sorta see but also leaving him is just not an option. There’s gotta be a middle ground. I leave it 1/2 mins when I can see which way crying is going. Personally I think baby is genuinely hungry as he’s so distracted in the day so pulls off the boob a lot. I’ve already had months of my in-laws saying I should be doing formula which makes me feel criticised but baby didn’t take well to it. I should say night time and nap times are the only times baby cries. I’m v lucky he’s v happy. He just struggles with sleep - short naps too

Trust your instincts as your baby's mum - your view sounds entirely logical and valid (and especially ignore the bull coming from the in-laws about formula - I feel like that usually just stems from jealously that they can't interact with the baby as much if they're so dependent on you for feeding). I'm sure you can absolutely tell from your little one's cries as to whether they'll be able to go back to sleep or need that extra comfort, and that's absolutely okay if they do. Perhaps show your partner some research on babies' needs, or even suggest speaking to a HV to see what they say. Hopefully you'd think he'd be able to listen to the opinion of someone with more experience and knowledge instead of his own assumptions.

Your partner sounds like an arse. Leaving a young baby to cry it out is abuse. You should not be leaving your baby to cry for a few minutes. They aren’t learning anything here, they’re just needlessly in distress. Of course they need help getting back to sleep - they’re a baby. Multiple night wakes are natural and normal until well into the toddler years. My eldest woke every 2 hours every single night until she was 2.5 and even now at 4 years old she still wakes 2-3 times a night. My youngest (about to turn 2) sleeps through the night now, but until she was 20 she was also waking around every 3 hours. All this is normal. The best thing you can do for your baby is to respond to them x

Absolute bollocks. There isn’t a middle ground and you are NOT creating a habit. Also formula will not help. Feeding your baby back to sleep is the quickest, easiest and most natural way to get them back to sleep. It is also how they feel safest.

Thanks yall I do appreciate your support and words and being on my side. Do you have any advice about why baby could be waking up this often though? It got down to hourly in the night until I put him into bed with me. And any relationship advice that isn’t just slagging off my partner as he isn’t going anywhere and so I need resolutions as well as rage sympathy! 🤣

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