Girls trip

When they can see you and want you they are more likely to scream and cry for you. Whereas if you aren't an option it's different.

Anxiety meds? For not wanting to leave your baby for 3 nights? When you know she may feel distressed without you around? In my opinion, it goes back to your natural instincts, and that will be to want to stay with your baby. I don’t think you need to take meds to alter the way your body naturally responds to leaving your baby behind, that really makes no sense to me. Personally, I wouldn’t go. I’ve not left my daughter overnight and she’s 18 months old. I’m just not ready yet and I don’t think she is either. The time will come but until then just do what you think is right for your baby and for you🫶🏼

Let me also add, i work full time in healthcare. So we are away from each other 12-13 hrs a day 4 days a week. And she does great at daycare or with the babysitter (who is usually my dad). I’ve just never left her overnight, and that’s what I’m worried about

Only you can decide what’s best for you, don’t let anyone else sway you or dictate to you. If you’re not going to be comfortable and if you’re going to be worrying the whole time then what’s the point in going? But if you feel like you can shut off and enjoy it that’s a different story. I would take a quiet moment to think through the different scenarios and see how you feel in your body. Follow the one that makes you feel most safe and happy!

It's only 3 nights, she'll be fine. However, it might be harder on you because you'll be worried about her (it's biological, we can't help it). You might have a hard time enjoying yourself if it's on your mind. I say go ahead and go, just request lots of pics and updates from home (face time too, if you think that won't make baby miss you more). It's good for babies to be around other people too sometimes.

Try leaving her with your parents for 1 day and night to have a date with your husband. It will either make you more confident or help you realize before you’re in New York that it will be too stressful

This has always been a problem to us mother. It’s okay. You’ll be okay (trying to tell myself that too). I’m leaving my boys (5 and 3 month old) with my oldest sister along with her 3 other kids (14, 7 and 1). My husband and I are going on a weekend (3 days) away to the beach for our late anniversary (next weekend). I’m worried but my husband is telling me they’ll be okay as we trust her (my sister) .

Do your parents have her overnight/during the day normally? She’ll be fine.

I think anxiety about being separated from your baby is normal for mothers and the suggestion that you should medicate over it.. well personally I’d be a bit offended, and I am very pro- treating mental health conditions. But I don’t think she’s right to imply that you have an anxiety issue in this circumstance, it is very normal to hesitate about leaving your infant. Babies and moms bond, of course. It’s very hard to be separated.

I definitely don’t think you need anxiety meds. That’s a bit ridiculous. She’s your baby, of course you’d be anxious about leaving her especially if it’s the first time. However, as I always get told by my mother who has 12 children, you need YOU time so that you don’t burn out. Go have fun and trust the village in your life to take care of your baby. She will be fine. And she will be learning that it’s okay to not be under you 24/7 as well.

For me a girls trip wouldn’t be important or even enjoyable now that I’m a mom and wife. I’m not gunna spend a night away from my family  It’s one thing going to lunch with a friend for example but overnight trips are out of the question. You don’t need anxiety medication to suppress your natural motherly instinct. That really the most absurd thing I’ve heard today. I’ve not had feelings like you about wanting “freedom” though. Sure I want a little break sometimes, like for an hour to something for myself, but never for more than that.

You should go!!

@Denise and i love for you that you had a great experience with motherhood. But mom shaming is so f-ed up and the verbiage you just used is so infuriating. I love my baby, 100%. But i lost who i was when i had her. So excuse me for using the word freedom, and wanting to feel like myself again. And to be myself and not just a mom. I’m not just anxious about being away from her, i do have PPA but don’t like taking meds. What you said here today, is the most absurd thing I’ve heard today.

@Trinity it’s not mom shaming to say you don’t feel the same way.

@Trinity some women think that if you’re a mom or wife you can’t be anything BUT a mom and wife. And then 30 years down the line they’re miserable and realizing that they’ve wasted their life being everything for everyone else while not even knowing who they are anymore or what they like. I’ve seen it happen way too often and especially with my mom. She’s spend all but 14 years of her life being a mother, now it’s almost like she resents having kids in general. Which is not fair to her kids. Take that trip, have fun and be happy because most of all what your daughter needs is a HAPPY and well rounded mommy.

@Trinity and this is coming from someone who is also a mother and wife

@Denise 😒🙄 you sound ridiculous. Coming from a mother and wife. This isn’t the 50’s and women can enjoy their lives for themselves as well.

@Denise it’s mom shaming to take an example directly from her comment and pretty much say it’s wrong… ? Use your common sense. How tacky.

@Fel I’m not telling her what to do. If she wants to go and it’d be enjoyable for her then she can go, but for ME it wouldn’t be enjoyable so I wouldn’t go. For ME it wouldn’t be worth it. And to ME she sounded like she was conflicted on whether to go for the reasons she stated. Thats why she’s asking for advice because she’s “lost.” Everyone is going to give advice based on what THEY would do, so that’s what I did! I would not go because it wouldn’t be enjoyable for ME. You think differently. SO WHAT! It’s not mom shaming to not feel the exact same way as another mother does. I don’t feel the need for freedom. I never said she’s a bad mom over it. Motherhoods hard and brings out all types of feelings but it doesn’t mean we all feel the same things! My intention is not to shame her AT ALL. Sorry if it came across like that but sometimes things can come across differently when you read it vs when you’re talking in person.

My baby is 8 months. And I’m leaving tomorrow for 4 nights. Go on the trip

I went away last week for 5 days without my 8 month old. She was perfectly happy without me 🥲 It was refreshing to have some time to be me again with friends and not have to constantly be on alert, but I also loved the little updates and pics I got from my husband seeing that she was happy and content. She even went to her great grandparents for a sleepover one night and loved it. If you feel like you need and want that time then do it! How often would this chance come up again. Sometimes we need our me time so we can come back refreshed and be the best we can be as mums ❤️ x

I don't think your sister would have just come out with the medication suggestion unless you were anxious over other things, too. Are you? If not, then it's a weird suggestion but not malicious as I feel it comes from a good place. I'd go on holiday. It will do you good and your daughter will be OK. Would only going for 2 nights be doable if you are too anxious to go for 3? I've had a few weekends away from my son when he's been visiting my in-laws with my partner. I miss him each time, but I'm not anxious about it at all, and it's amazing to be able to do what I want for a short time, to chill, to relax. Does wonders for my mental health. Do what is best for you OP.

@Denise 😒🙄🙄

@Hannah yes i do have anxiety everytime i leave her. She has a chromosomal abnormality that has a live birth rate of 1%. So my entire pregnancy was very stressful as well as birth and everything after. Some other women with this diagnosis have had random major medical complications with no other history. Such as a random aortic dissection with no previous cardiac history

It'll only get harder to leave the baby for a weekend. You should go. Dad needs to learn to cope with the baby. You've got this!

@Trinity, that's a lot to deal with and would be incredibly stressful and anxiety inducing. I'm sorry you are going through that.

@Denise Same same. I just wouldn’t enjoy it. I miss my family when I have to leave for a doctor appointment. 😂