Advice on what to say to partner
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Firstly, you're not rubbish. Coming from someone who feels the same guilt bc pregnancy #2 is keeping me from parenting the way I want to also, this is hard. You're doing your best, I'm sure your child still feels your love, and that's the most important thing. Secondly, you're going to want to try to have an open heart-to-heart, which means finding the best way for him to be open, too. Maybe it's scheduling it beforehand, maybe it's just starting it when he seems in a good mood for it, maybe it's in a therapy session. Tell him that you know what he's doing is hard and you are grateful to have a partner who's willing to BE a partner and parent. You know that sometimes it's important to vent, but right now that vein of venting makes you feel (x)(try to use specific emotions). Then you'll want to ask him to DO something, give him an action/solution to act on. Think about beforehand what you'd rather he do, other than just stop. Maybe find someone else, talk to you about it differently, join a support group, etc
You work so he definitely needs to do half the work, whether that’s cooking, taking care of your other baby. If he complains then you need to tell him to let you be a stay at home mom so that way you can do the other stuff. But that’s definitely not fair to have to do 75% of the work + being pregnant.
Make sure he knows he can re-open the conversation afterwards, take a step back and try again if either of you get defensive or have difficult emotional reactions. And remember, it's not you vs him, it's you and him vs the problem Examples for (x): unappreciated, guilty (for taking necessary time and rest to nurture another pregnancy), resentful, unseen
if he’s so passionate about not wanting to wake up with her then he should look into sleep training her (and it would help you since ur pregnant if she was sleeping through the night before ur new baby arrived) offer solutions for him to try to figure it out instead of playing the “oh well” card bc that’ll avoid the fight altogether
I understand you so well. I am pregnant with baby no.2 and my little girl is 13 months old. This pregnancy is giving me so much sleep. Now I have my mum and she has been a massive help cause our little girl does not sleep through the night and my mum sleeps with her but my mum is leaving in 2 days and we have to split nights. He is working and I am a SAHM so I feel guilty waking him up and it will be only on weekends when he’s off work but otherwise if I would be working would wake him up every night cause it’s impossible to handle sleeplessness every night while being pregnant
Try and come up with a compromise. We do one sleep in each at the weekends which has really helped us recharge
Idk If sound good I'll give u somin ha ( thanks for waking up throughout the night with baby as ive not been feeling great but you constantly complaining is upsetting me and I don't mean to be horrible I just feel really upset with it and would like to see a change and not argue )