Am I being too overbearing?

Me and my partner have been invited over to his mums birthday meal this weekend, it's booked for 7pm Friday night in a restaurant. 1 hour away drive. That's bang on my daughters bedtime as we start her routine at that time. She's 8 months old, is usually bathed, read to, breastfed and rocked to sleep. I just know if she goes she will be in a bad mood, cry or even if she does sleep in the pram, it will be really disturbed. I've been told I'm selfish and I should take her because it's only one night. I don't know why it's selfish to be thinking of my daughter? I reckon the meal would finish around 10 and we'd be home for 11pm. What do you think? I feel they only want her there to show her off but actually she will be so frustrated and tired. I've told my partner he can still go.
Like
Share Mobile
Share
  • Share

Show your support

Yeah I don't think I'd go to this either, would be way too stressful and I wouldn't enjoy it! If your baby would take a bottle, is a sitter an option? If not, then I'd do what you suggested and say your partner goes but you stay home with baby.

I'm on your side with this, I wouldn't take my LO out at her bedtime either! 🙈

I wouldn't go, especially with the 1 hour drive there and back. It's a shame they haven't thought about the baby and brought the meal time forward.

This would make me really uncomfortable too. We always try and plan family birthday meals for 5pm latest and most family members have been accommodating. I wouldn’t enjoy myself with an overtired baby who would definitely want their bed and they should understand that x

I'm so glad you all responded! Thank you. I felt like I was losing my mind. I hate letting people down but I can just imagine how it would be, and it just wouldn't be fair on her. And it wouldn't be fun for me or her dad either.

I wouldn't be going, I'd get a sitter if it was an option or sent my apologies and suggested if they really want you to attend with baby to suggest an afternoon xx

I am with you I wouldn’t go x

I had this exact problem for my granddad's birthday. I explained why I couldn't go and everyone was very understanding and arranged a separate afternoon tea party for us and the other kids to do instead. Worked out great. Anyone who calls you selfish is a hypocrite imo.

Can you get a sitter for the evening?

You could suggest that if you miss the meal, you could organise a separate day time lunch or something? Bit of a compromise, plus more celebration time for your MIL x

I think you are right it's not fair on your baby. When they are tiny they just sleep but at this age they need their routine.

You are not selfish at all!!! You’d completely disrupt babies routine and it’ll stress her and you out! 💕

I’ve not been to a meal but I’ve had my girl out later than her bed time and I can fully say it is stressful, and it disrupted her sooo much! It was stressful for her and for me! I’m a single mum so a bit different in circumstances but I absolutely won’t do it again! I don’t go places or events that will run past her bed time! My friend has a wedding in April we’re invited to and I will go to the day but I will be making sure I prioritise my girl and me regardless so will likely miss the evening

I agree with you and those above. We only go to dinners booked for 5pm because after 7 little man gets really tired and unsettled.

Read more on Peanut
Trending in our community