in Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

Mil cut toddlers hair

My mil seems to have the impression she’s entitled to make decisions on my behalf regarding my toddler. She chopped a piece of her hair off because it was “sticky” with food and wouldn’t comb through. Her hair looks horrendous in a ponytail now. I explained to her that she shouldn’t have done that and that could’ve easily been sorted in the bath. She is ignorant of what she’s done and doesn’t see the harm. Moving forward, I want to stop relying on her so much to watch my kid. I’m a SAHM but send her over because of my mental health and just to get bits done. Boundries being crossed with my kid also isn’t helping me so I’m stuck. Does anyone have any advice??? It’s over little things like her food, nap times, clothes and now hair!! Anything I say is garbage and I’m not respected as a mum at all!!

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Omg I could never tolerate her hair being touched. It looks small but it's actually big. If u allow that to happen repeatedly she will do even bigger things. 😡😡😡 Am sorry this happening to u. Is there no other adult that can take care of toddler apart from her ? I wdnt let her have my kid but if u don't have any other options u need to set Firm boundairs

Boundaries

Uff, how frustrating. I think the hardest thing to know is how to react in a nonreactive way that very strongly expresses the need for what you want. What do you want exactly? Would it be easier to share with us what you want, and then we can figure out a way to tell the MIL that lacks common sense?

Oh HELL NO!!! I. WOULD. BE. LIVID. H.E.L.L. N.O. I would just have to tell her she’s got ONE more chance. She either respects you and ALLLLLL of your boundaries. Or she’s done watching your kid and you will find another place for your daughter to hang out a few hours a eeek. Then you go on here and/or Facebook and find a troop of other SAHM’s and trade off a few hours a week of childcare. She takes your kiddo few a few hours on Tuesdays and you take hers for a few on ThursThursday or something. I ALMOST had to do that with my mom watching my littles. And she and my dad lived just 4 doors down from me! I told her that she wasn’t allowed to drive my children because she wasn’t a safe driver. She was PISSED at first. But, she eventually came to accept it. Admittedly, she never forgot it, she would bring it up once in N a while, but fewer and further in between. And she was much less angry about it as well. It wasn’t fun. It wasn’t easy. But it was necessary.

If you’re that annoyed with her behaviour and her lack of respect, stop sending her 🤷‍♀️

Ok so update guys, my husband spoke to her and she agreed eventually that she shouldn’t have done it but was enquiring about my voice being “shaky” over the phone. She said I shouldn’t show people I’m that angry. My husband said he doesn’t think I was angry or trying to come across angry. I’ve told him I won’t be sending her over on the weekdays for various reasons and I just hope I can commit to that now! Thank you all for your input xxx

I’d be sneaking up behind your mil and cutting a bit of her hair off. 😡 raging for you

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