Baby Shower Drama - help

Incognito as don't want to sound like an absolute twat.... I just got a text from my lovely aunt saying "thanks for the invite to the baby shower, unfortunately I won't be able to make it". I know nothing about a baby shower. She said it's in 2 weeks. I have a haircut and nail appointment and everything booked for that day. At no point has anyone mentioned a baby shower or asked if I'm busy that day etc. It's very sweet if someone has organised a surprise, but I really struggle with surprises and social events like baby showers so it's made me a bit anxious. On top of this - it's the weekend my mum is out of the country. So she wouldn't be able to come, and it's her first and potentially only grandchild. I have no idea who has organised it, but I feel like organising a baby shower on the day the grandma can't come is a bit of an act of aggression and my mum must be devastated. I feel so stressed about it I can't stop crying which I know is mad but as I don't know who has organised it I feel like I can't speak to any friends or family about it in case it was them...

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I hate surprises too so something like that would be freaking me out...🙈😬 Did your aunt say anymore?

No, and I feel a bit like I can't reply saying "what are you talking about" in case she feels bad about spilling the beans... Or she tells the organiser that I've had a total meltdown about it haha

Ask your aunt. You don't have to make a big deal out of it, but that way you'll be able to find out and do some damage limitation while there's still time xx

Maybe you could ask your aunt who passed her the info as there seems to be a confusion with the dates… that way you won’t make her feel bad and you’ll get the name of the person organising… then you talk to that person and squeeze in the conversation that your mum is going away and your so looking forward to get to your nails and her appointment… 😂 you just need to be a little cheeky

I have a sneaky suspicion my husband might have perhaps helped plan it and then saw me have a full blown panic attack about it and now feels awful 😞 and so I feel awful

So I asked my mum if she knew what my aunt meant and my mum says she thinks my aunt is confused, but I also think my mum maybe perhaps does know.

Update: Rang a colleague in tears from work who totally understands and she told me eeeeverything. Yes there is a surprise, someone was supposed to tell me to keep the day free but obviously didn't, and mum can't come and is really upset about it. Just knowing has made me feel a bit better, but still feel really uncomfortable that my mum isn't coming. At least I'm prepared though, if I'd got there as a surprise and then also realised it was without my mum I think the panic attack would have happened at the actual shower!!

At least you know now, do you know who's organising it? Can you work around or rearrange your appointments? ❤️

Definitely get then to rearrange if your mum won’t be there

I can rearrange the appointments. I think there was a bit of drama as they thought my mum was organising one and then my mum booked to go on holiday so the friend felt they had to rush around and put something together. I'm full term soon and they were worried I'd feel left out if I didn't get a shower