MIL decided to come over unannounced and Partner is letting her het away with it.

I get the whole wanting to know in advance, but if you have things to do, surely you can get on with that while your partner entertains his mum?.. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Tiggy’s Mummy She doesn’t let me get on with them. She follows me around the house and asks questions. She’s here to be nosey, not to see him. Even if I walk into my bedroom she will let herself in and then go into drawers.

That last comment you made about her coming into your bedroom and messing just sent me mad! I’d be absolutely fuming. Like that’s your private area, your room, how dare she start going through your things!! I’d go out. I’d get done what I could and if that’s nothing then so be it and leave. It’s so messed up and rude to what she’s doing!!!

@Tiffany She once went into my underwear drawer and was riffling through my bras. I was so shocked that no words came out of my mouth. She later sent me links to bras that she thought were cute. I have no privacy.

Oh my days if she’s going into your bedroom, drawers unannounced plus making inappropriate comments, then I take my last comment back 😫 You need to set boundaries & make it clear to your partner as well as his mum her behaviour will not be tolerated in your home.

i know this sounds crazy… but change the locks and don’t give anyone else a key. my daughters father gave his dad a key and he’d just come in all willy nilly. and she’s going through your drawers ? i normally have something to say about everything but im truly at a lost for words 😶

@Tiggy’s Mummy He spoke to her about the bra thing. He didn’t quite believe she would do that at first so I had to show the messages. He was fuming. I think I will say something once she leaves because I am too frustrated right now. I know what I have to say will come across the wrong way if I don’t calm down first. It’s too much to deal with today.

@indiiii Not crazy at all. She used to have an emergency key - not anymore. I once got up to go to work and she was here. It wasn’t even 7 am. I’ve come back from work and she has been here, alone. Now she doesn’t have a key. She turns up and then texts to say she is outside so that he will let her in.

I know it’s annoying for you; but go out and stay out until she has gone home. She’ll stop turning up unannounced if you’re never there when she does

@Rachael I definitely would have if I were able to. I have a pronounced limp and find it exhausting to walk, so I have to take breaks frequently. I also cannot drive on my current medication. I confined to home for the time being because I rely on my Partner to take me outside.

sometimes you have to come off the wrong way. she clearly has no boundaries and needs to be put in her place as the bra thing was 100000% out of pocket. no normal person would do that. she needs clear and firm boundaries and maybe not put so nicely if youve had multiple convos with her before

@dom She’s one of those people that will not acknowledge you when you’re angry. She will say I am being hormonal and that I didn’t mean anything I said, but the way I spoke to her was out of order. She will make herself into the victim so that I apologise. If I say it calmly, I take that away from her. She can’t manipulate me how she wants because I am being rational. I usually let my Partner address things with her because he doesn’t back down and will be almost emotionless as he does it. She’s not my Mother so I am not comfortable going to certain extents with her, even if she deserves it.

I'd go in and say "X I'm really sorry but we have to go now, let us know in advance next time so we can be sure visiting suits" look at him and say "are you ready to go? We will be late". Don't give her any details on where or why, but use a tone so he knows not to mess with you on it, then usher her out and go for a drive with him if needs be.