How old are your kids? My husband had bad depression after our son was born. He’s 16 months and my husband is just starting to feel better. As hard as it is on us mamas we have to also understand that dads are going through it as well but with the stigma of being a man and not being comfortable talking about their feelings (luckily my husband doesn’t shy from it but it also came out in points of anger and until I pressed I didn’t know where the anger was stemming from). They’re taking on the responsibility of providing for their family, their relationship with their wives has changed, intimacy has changed and babies move in as the focus. I’m still trying to make the conscious effort everyday to remember that we (husband and I) we’re here and had a relationship 10 years before baby came along and without our love, connection, respect and communication there would be no baby. We have to set good examples for our kids and show them what loving relationships are.
Continued…sorry if this didn’t directly answer your question but just wanted to say that you and your husband are not alone. Try to dig it out of him instead of just saying “do you want to talk” say “are you feeling this way because of this…?” I hope you guys work it out and both feel better! Sending love!
If he's not willing to have the conversation alone with you about these things is he willing to utilize a mediator? Or even do therapy by himself?