Am i over reacting?

So i think MY parents are as bad as my in laws. Let me explain, its gunna be a while bare with... TW: m*scarriage My in laws idolise their grandkids are barely acknowledge our LO. My GMIL is a horrible woman who always has a comment about me and when i had my m*scarriage, it was apparently my fault as i cant do what women should be able to do/denying my husband a child etc.. ANYWAY. My parents have very little respect for our wishes when it comes to LO. My dad is obsessed with him. Like he rings me multiple times a day to ask how he is and nothing else even when i put updates on the group chat. He hogs him, doesnt ask just grabs him off you, no one else is allowed to hold him, he wont even give him back to me when i ask.. my OH has to get him off him. We are doing independant naps now where he has his naps upstairs so he gets used to being on his own and self soothing but my dad insists on him sleeping on him whenever he is around at ours and im ‘mean’ for putting him upstairs on his own. LO was fussy because he was due a feed and my dad said ‘give him here i’ll have him off you’, im EBF so i told him ‘unless you start lactating you cant do much’. But today he grabbed LO off my mum when she was playing with him by his arm to pick him up. One arm. And hes 5 months old. I told him off but he didnt listen. He had dirty hands covered in soil and he tried putting LO’s dummy back in his mouth by first man handling the part that goes in his mouth with his dirty hands, when i said DONT DO THAT!! he replied with ‘oh it wont hurt him’. When i was stressed out about him not having a nap on time and was trying to chill him out, my dad kept getting in his face and hyping him up. He was tired and getting grouchy. But when i told him he was due a nap and was overdue by an hour, he laughed in my face and said it doesnt matter even though he was clearly tired. I told him that he needs a nap and as his parent thats my decision. He also had him in his pram and wouldnt let go of it, when i said ‘can i have my child back?’ He said ‘hes my grandchild’. I was like thats lovely.. give him the f back. My mother, is more focused on how SHE wants me to run my house because i dont run it the sane way as her and how to parent our LO but then is more engrossed with her phone and TV. LO had a poonami and she missed it because she was watching TV. when i asked her when it happened as i was cooking tea and i was told ‘he’ll be fine with me’ she said ‘oh he farted about 10/15 minutes ago? Hes just been niggling and fussy since…’. He was in a dirty nappy thats why… They dont listen. They dont respect our wishes, or the fact LO has a routine. Theyre weirdly possessive of him and just stress me out rn as theyre meant to be babysitting whilst we go to a wedding that babies are not invited too. Ive told OH we need to sit down with them and talk this out that they need to respect our wishes or we will stop them from being round him. Hes currently crying and screaming because hes over tired from the day. Any additional advice on how to handle the situation is appreciated.