Long story, but am I crazy???

I'll try and make this short. All pregnancy we told everyone my husband and I would do a mini quarantine since we were giving birth close to flu season. After a couple months we told everyone to come over for the last time because we were gonna stop having visitors for a little bit. His mom and sister drive over uninvited and unannounced mind you and absolutely crash out. I mean cussing us out the whole thing. He messaged his mom saying she needed to apologize to me. She texts me a halfa.. apology then continues to go on for the entirety of the message justifying her daughter's behavior and how we need to forgive her daughter/his sister. 4 months later his sister still has not talked to us. So we're moving out after living with my parents for these 6 months and we'll start having visitors again. Where I feel crazy is I know my husband and I's relationship has taken a hit with this quarantine not being able to have any time with just us. But I told him the only person I trust to watch her alone (so we could have a date night etc) is my best friend, my dad, or my sister. As I've seen everybody else not respect our boundaries. Although he has my back he's upset because his family is super close and always has been. And he says the way we've gone about things is not what they're use to, hence their "strong feelings". And although I give them grace in that department, I still think we're all adults and can navigate our "strong feelings" with respect. So he has "joked" about how I'm gonna be like Gypsy Rose's mom and not let her go anywhere without me blah blah blah but right now at least while she's still a baby I just don't trust anybody to respect our boundaries like not kissing her etc. as they've shown they don't respect us before soooo I need help lol am I crazy, overreacting, overbearing, overdramatic, overprotective, HELP.

Show your support

You are absolutely not crazy or overreacting or overbearing. None of it! She’s a baby and there are so many illnesses going on right now and you are having healthy firm boundaries. I see nothing wrong with how you handled things.

Thank you! I feel so bad because I do want her to have a relationship with everybody from both sides of our family but I almost feel pressured into a relationship with his side for the sake of them not taking every decision I make as a personal attack. They're more than welcome to come to our new house and visit but they won't be the ones I call to watch her without me there.. 😅 @Lyss

She’s a baby… they have so much time to build a relationship- why pressure yourself. She is too young to even remember these interactions yet. They are just making it about themselves. And it shouldn’t be. The most important thing is the baby’s wellness! Especially during a measles outbreak!! Safety first!

I think I kind of see both sides. Having a baby is exciting for you and the family, and if it’s out of the norm I can see how it would be harder for them. With that being said, they are adults. And we choose our own actions. Not anyone else. And they could have chosen to accept your boundaries. It is not wrong for you not to trust someone who has proven you can’t! Stand your ground! But be easy on your honey ❤️❤️ he’s kinda stuck in the middle on this one

Well done for setting up the boundaries! With all the pressure there is on new mothers not all of us are able to say NO even if they feel it’s not ok to say Yes. I felt pressure since my boy was born and I used to leave him alone with my MIL I struggled so much and couldn’t continue that way so I stopped the babysitting thing. Now my baby is one and I’m not ready to leave him alone again unless it’s my mum. And that’s just because of all that pressure I used to feel at the beginning to leave him alone.. OfC they are wondering why I don’t leave him alone but I have hundreds of reasons and I don’t need to explain anything to anyone. Keep it up you’re doing great and never doubt yourself when it comes to decisions about your baby. Nobody knows better than you, you are the mother!

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌