Community Posts, Tips & Support on Toddler & Child

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Toddler & Child

Partner/Husband Support

So many women seem to have the same problem of their partner thinking being a sahm means they do not contribute to the home or kids. So many women, even the ones who work, seem to be carrying the load of running the family with men who although supportive have to be given instructions on what they are to do. It’s quite interesting.
Do your partners do pretty well with helping? Are any of you in a relationship where now u feel u want to end things because you see your partner has a unrealistic expectation of rearing children and maintaining a home? Is it how you thought things would go? Did you and partner overcome this challenge?

Don’t know what to do. CPS

What do you do when you get a call at work saying your husband was arrested and your kids are being taken away from you.
House is empty. No laughing no crying. Don’t even remember the laugh or the coos from your baby before leaving to go work at 10. All because my step daughter said that she got hit by daddy with a baseball bat while sleeping. And my son who is 2 fell down a flight of stairs in a walker while I was away at work. Police, homeless shelter managers and my sister in law and mother in law came thank god I called them.

Everything is finalized till next week Wednesday. What do you do?

I can only hope and pray and go to work and pray my babies get back to me…

MIL coming to our bedroom

Mamas I’d love your thoughts on something. My husband wants more privacy after the baby, but my mother in law is offering a lot of help and coming into our room often to check on me and baby or put the baby in her cot when she falls asleep downstairs and all which I don’t mind as she trying to help?! Husband is not happy at all seeing her coming inside our room saying there should be boundaries as it strictly for us not even family must be allowed inside …. I totally understand what he’s saying but at the same I’ve just given birth nd I’ve got MIL offering to help or knocking to come in am I supposed to say pls don’t come in?! I feel stuck in the middle, not sure how to move forward with this as she’s still with us … pls any advice or suggestion? or do u agree on what am saying ? If I’m wrong fair enough but I feel like I’ve done nothing wrong ? Plus I guess he can speak to his mum? Or? & if anything should the MIL not know this ? if u get what I mean .. also he’s saying when she offered I can say “ let me get my husband” most of the times he’s asleep during the day ? Like okay ….

Step son eating everything

My step son is 13 and for the last few months he's been raiding the cupboards all the time and eating everything. If we buy cookies or anything sweet it will be gone within a day or two and we just find wrappers in his room.
I know its normal for teenage boys but my partner doesn't say anything to him. This morning I found a box of chocolates that I was given for Mother's Day ripped open in his room with half of them gone, I sent a pic to my partner and his response was "already seen that this morning" (but didn't say anything to SS)

Evil MIL 😞

I just need to vent because it’s upsetting me so much.
I have a 3 year old daughter who is SO obsessed with her grandad, they are two best friends and it’s literally so lovely to see.
However my MIL is insanely jealous of this. She always has a go at grandad for “being too soft” and playful with her.. we don’t see any issue as her parents but I know my MIL does.
My daughter was really poorly last weekend so on Monday, grandad popped by on his way home from work to check up on her. This caused a huge argument because my MIL didn’t want him too.
Then last night we went round for dinner and she forgot her password to something and the hint was “grandchild” - so she made a comment about the other 2 grandchildren and just blanked my daughter .. i was like .. she’s your grandchild too?
Am I just being overly sensitive?
I know my daughter isn’t the favourite, she never has been but it’s starting to get to a point where you can tell that my MIL just doesn’t like her at all and doesn’t like the fact she’s closer to her granddad

Question about irrationality

Hello, so my husband had a long stressful day at work. I’m a stay at home mom to our 1 yr old while being 38.5 weeks pregnant. So I do all the house work, cooking, cleaning, and child rearing. He comes home around 530and we go to the grocery store and get back home around 7. He helps me to clean up the mess the baby made and he gave her a bath while I cleaned the kitchen up from dinner and to shut it down for the night. He falls asleep from 8-1130 and comes and sits next to me on the couch. He the. States that he is going to take a shower literally five mins after he wakes up. And I did have a look of irritation bc I had the baby all day with no break. So, he asks why I look like that and i didn’t state what was actually wrong with me and said hey just don’t use all the hot water bc I shower everyday whereas he likes to take days to shower(gross) which today he just now told me he does that to save on the water bill. Never told me that before. But I shower everyday to get the bleach and household chemicals off me from cleaning throughout the day and bc being pregnant I feel yucky if I don’t. So he gets and an attitude stating that I said that to him like he showers everyday and I merely explained I only needed a couple mins to clean myself from the long day. So he ultimately decides he is not going to shower at all . When I proceeded to talk to him about it he stated that he didn’t care and i shouldn’t have made that face at him. Can someone please tell me exactly what it is I did wrong?

Why?

Sorry this is somewhat long, but I feel I need other input.
I’m currently in a relationship to the father of both my kids (3 and 1 years old) we have been together going on 5 years in October. We haven’t been doing so hot since I got pregnant with my second kiddo. We fight and we argue to the point I’m so angry I want to fight him. He doesn’t understand what I’m going through and acts like he does. I tell him how I feel and he tells me “you don’t feel that way” and acts like I’m making things up.

When I found out, I was pregnant with my second child we had just barely gotten back together after a very ugly separation. I put him in jail because I was in fear of mine and my child lives. I have stayed because I thought things would get better, and I can’t imagine my life any different than it is now.

I have been struggling to find the courage to stand up to him and leave. But it’s hard to think of how much my life will change.

We got in a fight today, like any other fight, it usually ends with him leaving. But today I tried to leave first, I tried to step away from the situation because I felt like I was not wanted anymore. He goes outside gets in his truck and says “you’re not leaving like this. I’m not gonna be stuck with the kids”. You’re not stuck with the kids. You’re their parent as well!

He’s out barhopping, while I’m at home taking care of our children. He’s having fun while I do the same thing. I do every single day all day. I don’t go anywhere unless I’m taking my kids with me, I don’t see my friends because everybody is off putt by my spouse. Most people know he’ll say no to me going out, and that just hurts.

I have a way out, I have my own vehicle, all I have to do is get a job and find a daycare. Why does it sound so easy but feel so difficult. Let alone how am I supposed to ever trust anybody again? All that trusting has gotten me is hurt.

He’s a mental, emotional, and financial abuser. Did yall even know financial abuse was a thing!? Baffles me how you can give a man everything he could ever want, and he just travels all over you like your floor mat. Not to mention the amount of times he’s coaxed me to have sex with him after I’ve told him I don’t want to.

How do I get through this and let go and leave? I know it’s better than being here stuck in a revolving door of bullshit. I want better for my kids.

Potty training

My boy is approaching 2.5yrs and I want to start potty training him so bad because he tells me when he poops or when he wakes up he tells me “diaper change” but every time I sit him on his little potty he does not seem interested one bit and gets up in like 3 seconds and if I try to keep him on longer he gets mad and screams and cries. I’ve also tried sitting him backwards on the normal toilet and he’s scared of that. Any tips?

What age did you start giving LO corn nuts?

My mom has been giving my 15 month old daughter cornick/filipino deep fried crunchy corn nuts and I didn’t know til recently. She has also been giving her blueberries whole. Both, or at least, the whole blueberries are choking hazards. My mom knows I get visibly upset/anxious whenever she feeds my daughter anything i haven’t approved of (as she knows I should be). She even saw my bag of goldfish crackers and asked if they were for my daughter and I said “no, they’re for me” then proceeded to ask me why I didn’t want to give my daughter the gold fish crackers. As usual, I said because they’re not meltable and afraid she might choke on them.

potty training

anyone start potty training yet? my son will be two in july and he doesn’t talk but he’ll grab a diaper and throw his dirty one away he pulled on his diaper when he gets uncomfortable and he’ll follow us into the the bathroom but other than he doesn’t show much that he’s ready to be potty trained. i’m not sure if i should try and start or just wait till he is talking? and i’m not sure on how to even start he’s my first

4 year old birthday gifts

What gifts would you recommend getting a 4 year old ?

Is he in the wrong here or am I?

My partner of 4 years is not the father of my 3 children I have to my ex husband, my ex and I had a bad break up, things took a sudden nasty turn after a long rime together, dv, courts injunction but things u turned and he has a timetable with the kids now. He sees them every other weekend for just the day and some half terms but not too much really. He pays maintenance and he has for 4 years even when he couldnt see them. He called n said his changing jobs and he needs to pay 250 less this month and then for the next few weeks he will pay weekly instead of monthly and add some extra on so the 250 less will get paid back. My partner said if he cant pay he cant have them.. if he cant afford to pay this week properly he cant afford to havr the kids next week in half term. He asked for a Monday til friday with them, he wants to take them the cinema and trampoline park and to see family. I said child maintenance and his quality time with the kids are two seperate things just as what happened between me and him is seperate to how he is a father am I wrong ? Is he wrong ? What would you do ?

Question for SAHM

What do your husbands do in order for you to stay home? How does your budgets look? Is anyone who isn’t a SAHM struggling? How many children do you have?

Solo/independent play

I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this and has any advice 🤍

As a single mum, I feel like I may have overdone it a bit when my little one was a baby — I was always playing with him, rarely encouraging him to play on his own or choose his own toys. Now he’s a toddler, he really struggles to play independently and wants me to be involved all the time, often asking me to initiate the play too.

I’m finding it quite tough at the moment because even when I just need 5 minutes to cook, tidy up, or have a hot drink, he wants my constant attention. I’ve tried setting up activities for him and sitting with him for a few minutes before stepping away, but he usually follows me and says “mama, where are you going? Play with me,” and I find it hard to say no sometimes 🙃

The thing is, he’s been in nursery since 9 months (I work there too, just in a different room), and I’ve seen him play independently and with other children — so I know he can do it.

Does anyone have any tips for encouraging more independent play at home? 💛

Thank you!

What is your most played with toy or item your little one uses.

Would love some suggestions as my little one is getting bored very easily with our toy/game/activity selection.

Thank you 😊

Baby food pouches ..

With my first we did BLW but I’m struggling to find the time this time round .. I’ve been giving my nearly 7M old pouches and he LOVES them.. also offering some solid items he can hold himself ie banana, strawberries, cucumber ect ..
is anyone else mainly offering pouches? Trying to seek some reassurance tbh 🤣

Toddler toys for the car?

Please tell me what toys you're using to keep your toddler distracted in the car. My 19-month-old is not interested in books in the car or the other toys we've been using. A lot of the car toys I see are either geared towards older kids or babies. Looking for any suggestions to make car rides less of a headache.

Advice and help?

My 7 month old won’t feed him self and if he does he tries to put things whole into his mouth like finger food I offer or he puts to much then screams when I try to take it off him I’m petrified he’s going to choke is this normal?

Nursery wobble!!!

I know sending our babies to nursery is a nerve-wracking time for all parents but there's been a lot of incidents in nurseries coming up recently. It's panicking me. Im trying to calm myself down and think logically.
Has anyone gone to the nursery settling in days with a list of questions, especially around safety? What sorts of things have you asked if so?

Nursery advice

I am wanting some advice.

Lately I have noticed the nursery which my child attends has started to inform me about certain ways they do things and how it is the nursery procedure to follow this.

Even though I have stated that there is a change in my child's routine at home and I would like the nursery to follow the routine as close as we do at home rather than the nursery wanting to do certain things their own way.

When questioned again as to why the home routine is not being followed, the nursery had then presented us with a guidance / policy.

However our debate is, firstly this policy has not been signed and dated by us as the parent s secondly the nursery cannot decide they want to do as they please & thirdly , this policy / guidance had not been presented at the time of signing my child up.

We feel as when discussed with the nursery manager , they keep referring to the guidance and don't have any useful answers & when bought up the issue with the room staff , they keep stating the manager insists on the nursery guidance to be followed.

Any advice on who else to bring this up with? The situation is very distressing and upsetting especially as it's a big trust in strangers with your child so you don't expect your requests and routines to be ignored .

TIA