Parenting

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Raising a Libra Baby: How to Support Your Little Peacemaker

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Raising a Gemini Baby: Get Ready for a Whole Lot of Talking

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Raising a Cancer Baby: Big Feelings in a Tiny Package

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Raising a Leo Baby: What to Expect From Your Fiery Lion

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Raising an Aquarius Baby: Parenting the Future-Minded Free Spirit

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Raising a Scorpio Baby: The Good, The Intense, and The Nap Refusals

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From the community

Recent discussions

When to intervene?

There is a family lives two doors down from us and they have 3 kids, a boy, a girl and a baby. The girl cries a lot and it often sounds like she’s being neglected by her own parents. Like she would just let her cry. It happens a lot from evening to nighttime, and it would last between 5-10+ minutes. I once heard them from our garden when the little girl was crying and her mum was banging loudly on something a few times and shouted at her. I know they’re Muslim because she’s got the hijab on. It’s always just the little girl crying in distress.

Almost every night.

I do hear her laughing, but it’s so rare.

What do you think I should do?

I live in the UK btw. I thought about knocking to check on her but I don’t know if it’s safe to do? I have met the dad in the playground before with his older son and he sounded like he loves his son and his wife. It’s just the mum? Idk.

Advice (unfaithful?) - what would you think/do?

Ladies, I'd like some advice on what you would do/think..so I've been in a long-term relationship with my partner, but I have noticed over the last few years that he's become more secretive with his second phone.

So much so that whenever I come into the room, he always put the phone straight to the homepage for me to not see what he was doing. I thought it was a one off but I've realised its actually become a pattern.

Earlier in our relationship, he told me the password to this phone and didn't mind me going into it (even though I only ever went on it in his presence), but the change in his behaviour with this phone came along the same time as when he changed the password.

I've tried to confront him about it but he always finds an excuse, and never tries to reassure me of his loyalty.

When I ask him about it, he says that I'm the one who's forgotten the password and that he hasn't changed it but is adamant about me not seeing or accessing the phone.

Am I wrong to assume he's been unfaithful, entertaining someone he doesn’t want me to know about?

(And for a slight context, a few years ago, he actually told me he set up a dating profile on the same phone to help a friend who isn't good at talking to women).

In-laws

My son is 8 months old and I've always felt super weird when we're with my in-laws, his grandparents. They are so loving and great with him, just I feel crazy overprotective and uncomfortable about everything. Even silly things like them sitting and reading a book with him, or building towers.
They're doing absolutely nothing wrong, I just feel like I can't relax and I just want him back all the time. Everything just makes me cringe for some reason.
I just don't understand my feelings. They are lovely people, I just feel very weird when he's with them.
This isn't the case with my parents however.
Anyone feel the same or can help me figure out this feeling?

Partner getting angry/annoyed with me

My son hasn’t been napping which in turn has caused him to be a bit more on the cranky side around 3/4:00pm (he’s 2). He also hurt himself the other day so that’s been adding to it. Today has been one of those days where it’s tantrums, crying, and just not happy with the world.

He was crying for a bit and I decided to pick him up, take him to his room, and just sit with him for 10 min to calm down. When I came back out my husband was all annoyed and angry with me that I ‘gave into him’. I didn’t say a word to my son, just sat in silence and let him work through it.

Now I’m sitting here wondering if I did the wrong thing in that moment.. as a ftm I still have my moments where I’m lost and don’t know how to handle things but I do it the best I can. He’s a great husband and dad, but moments like this make me feel like I’m doing it wrong especially when he’s acting like that. We were raised two completely different ways and I know that plays a part into butting heads sometimes.

He left again

He stayed at mine. Played pretend families. Bounced back to his mums. Zero communication. Zero checking in on the kids. Leaving me lonely. He planned to surprised his kids with something today. Choose to watch the football with his brother. Then chooses to go pub gone 11pm with a fake friend. And I get nothing but declined calls and shit responses. Anyone up to talk? Feeling low.

AITA?

So I generally go through everyday with my kids. I have a 5 and a 1 year old. I don’t ever get a break from them like ever. So I’m constantly overstimulated and my nervous system is in overdrive. My bf doesn’t help with them unless they need something bought for them. He doesn’t help with diapers, occasionally helps with baths, cooks for them once a week (only 1 meal), and blames it all on work.

I asked my bf to watch them so I can get a break because I’m currently going thru PPD and PP rage. I’ve found myself yelling at my 5 year old and I hate that it’s so hard to control my anger sometimes. On top of this, she has built up quite an attitude and is at the peak of pushing boundaries. Which isn’t necessarily her fault but it’s also extremely difficult to deal with on such a short fuse. Anyway, I asked him to watch them, he ignored me, and I decided to just leave them in the living room with him while I stayed in our room. When I tried to gently take them both out of the room, my 5 year old put her feet in front of the door yelling “no!” I did get irritated, and tried to move her feet and close the door. I didn’t see my 1 year olds fingers in the crack of the door when I tried to close it. I immediately felt so guilty, like such a bad mom. On top of this, my bf starts yelling at me “HIS FINGERS WERE RIGHT THERE HOW DIDNT YOU SEE THAT YOU SELLING YOU HAVE NO IQ.”

I got some ice, put it on his fingers. I tried to pick him up but my bf wouldn’t let me hold him. He just kept saying “you’re a salesperson for how much you be selling”. Aaaand now I’m breastfeeding our 1 year old and crying. Was I wrong?

Caught him sexting.

As the title says. A few years ago when I was pregnant I caught him with onlyfans. He would look a lot but never did more than that. I let him know that I consider that cheating anyways and if he ever did it again then it’s over. And here we are 4 years later. We haven’t been as intimate or passionate lately. I’ve been dealing with my aunt having cancer and a stressful job. I’m also on Zoloft so my sex drive is just way lower than it usually is. But the last few times I noticed he wasn’t staying hard or even finishing. I just thought he was stressed too much. But last night I looked through his phone and found him sexting girls starting November. He kept posting in sexting subreddit where they exchange nudes. And he was sending fake nudes?! As a wife I’m heartbroken. As a woman im pissed he’s catfishing. Then I saw he had onlyfans again and was even messaging with a few girls this time. Even telling a few that his wife wasn’t giving him any lately. Today has just been so weird and I think I’m trying to vent because I don’t have any friends. And I feel like I can’t tell my family. I just feel lost. And I’m heartbroken and I know what I have to do that’s best for me. But we have a 4 year old and we just moved into an apartment literally last week so we still have a 15month lease that I cannot pay by myself. I guess I’m just yelling out to the void.

Vent/ need advice

Over the past two months since giving birth, I've been struggling with mild postpartum anxiety and depression, and it's been incredibly difficult. I have no family or close friends in the UK, so my support system is mainly my partner and his mum.
Since our baby was born, I've taken on almost all of the childcare. My partner had five days of annual leave instead of paternity leave, but even then the support was minimal. I do nearly all feeds, nappy changes, and most household chores. I've repeatedly asked for more help, even with simple things like washing bottles, sterilising equipment, or holding the baby while I do chores, but I almost always have to ask. He rarely takes initiative.
Five days ago, I finally told him how unhappy and overwhelmed I feel. I explained that it often feels like he's still living as though he has no responsibilities at home. He regularly goes out drinking with friends or attends football matches, while I spend most of my time caring for our baby. When I struggle to keep up with the house because of my low mood and exhaustion, he criticises me rather than helping.
During the conversation, instead of acknowledging how I'm feeling, he became defensive and argued that because he works, he shouldn't have to help more. When I suggested small ways he could support me, such as preparing a nighttime feed, he dismissed my concerns and shifted the blame onto me. I felt unheard and overwhelmed, so I walked away to avoid a bigger argument.
Since then, he hasn't spoken to me for five days. He has not acknowledged my exhaustion, anxiety, or depression, and I have been crying every day. Meanwhile, he continues to spend time with friends as though nothing has happened. I'm starting to feel that he doesn't care about me, and I've even considered leaving with the baby. However, I have nowhere else to go and very limited money while on maternity pay. I feel isolated, unsupported, and unsure of what to do next.

am i overreacting

so my fiancées mom has multiple grandbabies from his older siblings cause he’s the youngest we’re 20 and 22. so his mom keeps saying when the baby is born she’s just gonna come in our room and take him, which doesn’t make sense to me cause we’re gonna be out there most of the time except feeding if i can produce enough, cause there are teen boys in the house. am i overreacting about making it a thing that i don’t want people just grabbing him from me if we’re in my room cause we’re really gonna be in here for some naps, feeding and going to bed.

Baby cries ALL DAY

My 6m old has become sooooo fussy. It feels like he cries majority of the day. I hate this stage/phase. I feel like no matter what I do he is always crying. All I can do is carry him or lay with him and nurse him but even then after a bit of time doing something he gets fussy and starts crying again. I’m burnt out. Dad works and I stay home with him and his big sis but I’m just exhausted. I feel like a horrible mom but I just wish I could have time away from him but he refuses to take a bottle 😭😭😭

Opinions.

My partner has 3 kids their mum says their not allowed round anymore due to me calling police to have a chat with them about their behaviours (hitting, verbal abuse) as they wouldn’t listen to anyone. which has now been brought to my attention that she had been bad mouthing me to them which in my opinion would of caused this. Am I in the wrong. I have two babies myself now the dad isn’t around on weekends as they aren’t allowed here. Literally at the end of my tether with her bad mouthing me to them as they were good kids but this is beyond a joke

Struggling SAHM

Anyone else’s partner/ husband come home from work complain about his job and just lays next to you and scrolls through Instagram for hours? Or is it just me? Idk it irritates me so much bc I stay home all day waiting for him and he just does this . Doesn’t really spend any quality time with me I’d be lucky to get a kiss maybe on a good day when everything went well at work . Idk it’s just giving bare minimum to me and I’m just tired of dealing with it but I have no choice rn. It’s just hard dealing with being pregnant taking care of myself all day and I still have to take care of myself when he gets home. Idk makes me feel lonely in the relationship

Healthy conflict in marriage? Please read. Desperate!!

What happens if you've tried healthy marriage conflict tactics but partner gets defensive, raises voice, turns around your valued point or mocks your points. These are matters that need to be talked about, like discussing what over due bills are redeemed important to pay this paycheck. Over due conflicts that are recurring. I have been calm and collect when bringing up what needs to be brought to attention around the house to help while im going through nausea in first trimester. Having a 4 year old to attend to. I do his work clothes for him and our washers spin is broken so it adds extra work. I care for him, but when i ask for help with task i normally do i get hesitation fron him. For contexts he's 28. I've talked ( after several attempts) with him on how I feel lonely and not cared for in first trimester. HIS TONE and demeanor towards me and our 4 year old. His frequent trips to garage for hours to smoke a cigarette ( just picked it back up after 5 years) straight after waking up, leaving me to deal with lunchtime while throwing up. Also after putting our son to bed and I ask for simple affection like tickles while watching tv in bed, hes gone and distant. I've had countless calm conversations about what makes me feel im undervalued. Nothing changed after months, and honestly I've grown bitter. He stresses the way he deals with it isnt ideally productive. Rather buring in and not dealing with head on. Like as mother's we do.
Am I over reacting? Am I being unrealistic? Am I being controlling when I ask to minimize his hours long smoke trips to garage and help out more? Not trying to bad talk my husband, its a rant.

It’s not fair.

My husband leaves to go out of town for a (non mandatory) work trip. He comes back, he gets a lot of love from our daughter.

I’m bitter and resentful. Not only have I been the one taking care of her this week, but I do most things for her… he doesn’t even know her clothing size, diaper size, etc. I love her so much. I put her first. He doesn’t do the same.

My heart hurts.

Am I tripping?

My man is on this dumb ass 2k game holding my daughter while she’s sleep but she pooped first. So she’s been sleep with poop in her diaper for about 10 mins. I come around and said “well are you going to change her” he goes “I can’t right now I’m on the game”… so of course I take her from him and change her then put her to sleep while he’s STILL on the game. I’m feeling rage mamas, I see why my mom “accidentally ” spilled water on my dad’s xbox when I was younger. MIND YOU he works Mon-Fri im a sahm so she’s with me 24/7. It’s the weekend and you still can’t help me? Do I need to relax or is my anger valid, I feel crazy

Advice about boundaries

I want my babies to be better than I ever was so it is just so important to me that they don’t grow up playing on phones or being worried about phones at all, eat healthy, are active, play with toys, use their imagination, blah blah etc. anyone else that also agrees with me, how do yall enforce the no phones? My baby is only 4 months old but obviously he will look at a phone screen if you put it in his face. And my boyfriends family knows how I feel about that and they still do it. Maybe it’s because he’s only 4 months so they think it doesn’t affect him??? Idk. Even if it doesn’t affect him, I want to make it clear now and establish the boundary now so that when he’s older, they know he is not to be on anyone’s phone. I have so many reasons for the no phones rule and it’s just very important to me. How do yall make it clear to family who doesn’t seem to take it seriously?

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