in Adoption
Rejection fear
we found out I have fertility issues. At the same time I lost a pregnancy and a family member found they where pregnant and told everyone they didn’t want the baby (drug abuse was involved with the decision) and would be letting me adopt… I had explained we would need to sign documents for adoption but they declined and I told them I wanted it to be legal and closed. They then stated they still wanted parental rights and to claim the baby on their taxes 😖 I told them that if this was the case they would have to raise the child. It broke me a little. This was almost 4 years ago and still no angel baby for me. We don’t feel private adoption would be financially good and we are thinking about county adoption. We currently are foster parents to a teenager who will be aging out in a few months and we have full custody of my s/o’s biological daughter.
I just have a fear we will foster a baby fall in love then where it would be great to have the baby go back to family I feel it will break me… or with the luck I have had Adoption would be denied. am I wrong in my fear or is this normal?
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You shouldn’t be fostering children just because it’s a cheaper way to obtain a child. That’s selfish. And twisted. Because that’s NOT what fostering is for. Fostering is for people to give their children a safe place while they fix their life so the child can come back to a better parent and home. Reunification is the goal of fostering. If you cannot afford adoption then stop and listen to your mind. Why do you want a baby? Why do you think it’s ok to prey on weak people in crisis’ just to get that baby? They don’t owe you a baby and no one does. You need grief counseling and therapy. Just because you are hurt doesn’t mean you can go around hurting others. Because that’s what adoption does.
As someone who was able to adopt our foster baby in March you are NOT WRONG for having a fear of getting attached and it not working out. I can’t put into words how emotionally taxing it is but it’s a chance you may have to take if a baby is what you want and fostering is they way you want to do it. We had to stay strong in that we would fight for what was right for our little one. I will say is that everyone we work with knows that we want the baby of a mom that has a history with the system. We aren’t in this to foster and we will turn down a baby that we feel like has a greater chance of reunification. The entire process is really hard but we are planning to do the same thing again. I’ll risk my heartbreak if I can help a baby out for awhile.