How has have a narcissistic mother effected your marriage?

I kind of identify with some of what you are going through. My mother didn't want me to have a social life growing up. She was very controlling and extremely judgemental of any friends I had. It has made it difficult for me to make friends as an adult. I'm a loaner, although I have a few close friends none of them have children and I worry as I'll have a little one soon and I know I'll have trouble making mom friends. I use to struggle in past relationships always wanting my partner to stay with me because I wanted to be home. I've been called controlling too. It took me some time to realize I was being control without meaning to be because it's all I knew. my current partner is kind of a homebody too so we don't have issues like I did in past relationships. He likes to be with me and isn't obsessed with the boys. I wonder how things will change once baby gets here. I'm really working on myself to be more social and open to meeting new people. My mother controlling my life has effected me.

My only suggestion is to seek out therapy, it really helped me. And to try your best to make mom friends. It will be great for your kids for you and for your relationship 😊

My husband has totally backed off whenever she comes around because he just doesn’t want to deal with her crap. What she doesn’t realize, is that she is affecting others with everything she says or does. He likes how kind she can be, but he looks to me to say something to her when she starts treating me like crap and rudely talking about him. My mom scares the living tar out of me, so standing up to her hasn’t been easy. Just recently, I said something to her that made her flip her lid, so now, my husband and I have become closer. I feel like this was coming sooner than later, it’s just unfortunate it had to come at all. Now I don’t even want to reach out to her because she’ll just end up snapping again.

Just do what’s best for you and your family. No one outside of it, has control over that.