Husband flirting with women online

I think he is the problem, not you, you don't need to change for him!

Mama, I totally understand you but it does sound like a him problem. Have you discussed it with him?

@Merari yes. And he just says he loves me and there’s nothing I need to change. But like obviously there’s something. Especially it’s not like random ig models. It’s people from his past.

Maybe he does love you and is attracted to you but you guys aren’t connecting on a deeper level?

I feel like you’re worried over the wrong thing here. I can tell you that even if you completely change into those IG model types that can’t guarantee that he won’t flirt with other women or go further. Even those IG models and plenty of famously beautiful women get cheated on. The problem is him.

@Merari that’s the thing. It seemed like we were. I honestly feel like he just does it cause he’s bored maybe. Like maybe he was bored when the baby kept waking and I was up 5 times a night putting her back to bed. But that’s kind of fucked up.

Idk. Maybe it’s that people today think social media flirting don’t count

It very much counts. And it’s not like he’s flirting with strangers, these are women he knows and could possibly go see. How would he feel if you did that? Would he feel as calm as you are? I’m not saying you need to breakup if that’s not what you want but you need to be way more angrier with him in my opinion. If you don’t nip it in the bud now, things like that escalate far beyond flirting.

Does HE think he's flirting? My husband has a flirty personality and I've had to come to terms with it on more than a few occasions. He will think he's just being friendly. 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Bianca I’ve cried and been upset all night. I’m just in the am I not enough stage I guess of grief. Like maybe if I did more or was more. But youre right. Even drop dead gorgeous models still have this trash happen. It’s so sad cause we try to hard to be all the things for our man and it just never seems to be enough

@Klueless Kat i mean saying holy fuck you look sexy I think is explicitly flirty….if he doesn’t think he’s flirting then if I did the same commit to a dude he shouldn’t have a problem lmao but he certainly would have an issue with it

This sucks ❤️ what sucks the most is that he's made you feel like you need to try to be better. Because he is 100% the problem here, not you.

😲 Damn! 😬😔 *hugs* That's so crappy. 😢

Communication is so important. Talk about how it makes you feel when he does he flirts with women from his past ask him what is making him what to do rhat. What is looking for those conversations or “relationships” to fulfill that he clearly isn’t getting. Men are just as emotional as women they are just not normalized to speak about insecurities and shit. Try to have a vulnerable and open conversation with no judgemen and then.Set your boundaries and set consequences you are willing to follow thru with if he continues the BS

@Merari I’ll see if he can open up. He said “you’re the love of my life, there’s nothing you have to change and you’re perfect the way you are”….I’ll try phrasing it this way and see what he says

Jail

Good luck. As long as there’s respect and love between the two of you then anything can be worked thru

I have four very open brothers and from their disgusting man talk, he may be saying that he doesn’t want you to change so you don’t attract attention from other men. He doesn’t want to face competition and likes that you don’t look like an IG model so you stay right where you are.

@Bianca @Merari so I talked to him. And he claims hes not into the girls, they are his friends and he’s just like talking them up making them feel but he says not acting on anything. Like not sexting, not meeting up, etc. and he feels like since he’s always posting me and I’m in his profile pic that I shouldn’t feel like I’m in competition because they know he’s with me….

Idk what to think.

Okay but that doesn’t take away from the fact it hurts your f elongated and makes you feel insecure and that it’s disrespectful …did you set boundaries

?

Exactly. I told him at the end of the day I cannot force him to do or not do anything. And I don’t want to live my life worrying about what he’s doing or feeling the need to go through his accounts. So if it’s honestly him just being him flirting for the fuck of it then he needs to figure out if that is more important and he is willing to lose what we built for it. Because I will not stick around for it. He claims he acknowledges it was inappropriate behavior and he says he honestly doesn’t know why he did it because he claims he really isn’t into them and isn’t pursuing anything. And although he won’t just block them he claims he will change his behavior.

I mean at the end of the day he seems genuine but he could just be saying it. I won’t really know. So I have to decide to trust his word or not.

Meanwhile I know I need to work on my confidence after having this baby. Because I never want to feel like this where I critique every aspect of myself and see what I can change.

I see any man in a relationship that’s feels the need to having conversations with lots of other woman massive red flags. It’s hard enough to get a proper conversation and catch up with real friends but if he’s taking that time and effort to have these conversations, then he wants the attention, and wants to give it. Tell him it’s not on. P.s it’s nothing to do with you, it’s all to do with him.

100% where your coming from but I'm 34 weeks pregnant. I had a mental breakdown and thought it's happening all over again like it did to rest of my exs the lose interest and start cheating. I self harmed and wrote on my leg I'm not good enough with a razor this wasn't for attention I genuinely feel I'm not good enough anymore. My partner saw my leg and its happy we had a chat and cried together about it and I'm now on antidepressants and waiting for mental health team to get in touch 🙄