Any advice on keeping an ADHD pre-teen organized?

Have you tried showing her YouTube advice for adhd? Sometimes, when kids/teens find a creator they connect with, they take that advice more seriously (even if it's the exact same thing the parent is saying). If it's reasonable for your budget/insurance plan, looking for an adhd therapist can also be really helpful. As one myself, I know the benefits I've seen for clients who didn't think they could find systems that work for them. Another option is an ADHD coach. I'm more hesitant with this one because its not covered by insurance in most cases (so it's an out of pocket cost), and they aren't certified by a governing body so anyone can call themselves a coach. But there are really good ones out there. Check the Chadd website to see if any are in your area.

@Kate That's a great idea! Thank you! And we got her in therapy young since, it can never hurt, but we have had to pay out of pocket. I didn't even know and ADHD therapist was a thing? Is it like therapy or works differently then that?

Yes, it's a typical therapy session/setting, but just with a provider who focuses on adhd. The Chadd website also has a therapist section. It's a paid service for therapists, so only ones who are really focused on ADHD will pay for it.

Thank you, I will definitely look into it

Teaching her how to gamify her life can be super helpful in general. I agree with the above poster with therapy but as a good dopamine hack it should be shared. Basically figuring out a way to turn the task into a game can take the pressure off of it and help get the dopamine flowing. Timing the task, involving candies at certain intervals, creating a reward system or rule structure to make the task interesting are all ways to that. I learned at a young age how to do that and get my dopamine going with music, checklists and candy and it’s honestly one of the biggest tools I use to cope with housework now that I’m unmedicated

@Lee My husband does this a LOT and it seems to work well for him too! Especially using music 🎶 as motivation ❤️ We're both fans of 🤘Punk Rock- so it's not uncommon to find him blasting Transpants while cleaning our bathrooms, etc.

@Cassandra R it’s genuinely the most important tool in my coping arsenal! Music has been my way of not only regulating but also motivating and relaxing. A lot of times I’ll just set a playlist to play and clean for as long as the playlist or dopamine last, whichever comes first. When working with kids I found that taking the focus away from the task and putting it on what’s happening while we do the task has been super effective in getting chores done in a fun and enjoyable way while also being accessible for myself as an adult.

@Lee I love this as a skill! The one thing I would add, just for extra clarity, is: you can teach someone this skill and give examples, but once they understand it make sure they are coming up with "rules" and rewards. It sounds like that's what you're describing doing for yourself, I've just seen so many parents try to provide tasks or skills for kids to be helpful. It works really well in the moment, but doesn't teach them how to do it themselves now or as an adult.

@Kate definitely a skill to teach! It’s almost like the most intense form of ‘self-play’ and while a child can be guided through it the end result needs to be something the child picked themselves. The hardest challenge I’ve had as an AuDHD-er is learning self regulation and I suspect that if my parents didn’t helicopter as much I would have an easier time finding methods that work and keep me on track. Part of raising a ND kid is making space for them to fail so they can learn to self regulate in a safe environment.

This has all been super informative! And I'm seeing how I have been doing a lot of these things in my life with out realizing it or realizing why.

@Chelsi thank you!! Once I started taking a step back and looking at my own patterns I noticed holes in them, noticed how it affected my daily life and how to use my neurospicy brain to its fullest potential. I obviously still have AuDHD and struggle but I’m slowly finding techniques that work for me. I’m confident that by allowing children a safe space to figure out what works for their bodies (even if it means some late nights or missing assignments) with support along with way you’ll find more resilient children that know themselves and their bodies limits well. I’ve found that a balance between consistency and variety works really well for AuDHD brains. For me this looks like RV living 😂 I have my house wherever I wanna go but I can change the environment as often as I need to! Finding a routine that allows you to be flexible and make swaps as needed is the key! Feel free to dm for more information too :)