Husband texting escorts

This isn’t on topic but can I ask. I’ve found basic text from escorts to my husband saying ‘Outcalls only bbe, if u would like a outcall send me postcode n i will tell u the price ect xx’, ‘Done for tonight sorry hun back tomoz xx’. When I confronted him he says it’s spam from his old life, that he’s on a mailing list. I said I didn’t believe him. He finally admitted it’s escorts. I’ve googled the numbers and that’s confirmed. He says he’s not met anyone. Was just horny and needed to *** and we weren’t having sex before marriage so he used it as a *ank bank. Nothing more. Never met anyone. The date of the texts means 8 months later we got married. How would you react? I want to get over it and move on, believe him that it was just self pleasure at home alone texting random numbers but it’s come back to haunt me. Thoughts? His iPad (where I found it all) isn’t logged into his apple account now so I can’t see anything at all because it’s not synced. Apple account being unsync didn’t happen straight away, am I overthinking that other part of it? Thanks. Xx

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I think watching porn is one thing, not something I’m personally okay with but it’s an illusion. To actually reach out and contact these workers is too far and I would consider it cheating x

Is this the only thing you’ve found out about? How does it make you feel truly? What do you consider cheating and simple disrespect?

He would’ve kept lying if he didn’t caught.How would someone be on mailing list? That is a choice you make.

He lie. Thats my issue. He clearly fucking said a spam from his old life. First, wtf does that mean sir🥱. Secondly why are texting them. You NEVER EVER text a spam let alone ask for details like pricing. This was a big fat lie to your face. Then he switched it up and said he’s on a mailing list🥸. Sir, then you’re openly admitting to subscribing, and looking at certain sites. So again, a lie to the face Then after all that he comes clean…to a degree. You’ll never truly know if he physically met anyone. And that’s hard to overcome. But the fact that he’s PAYING someone and keeping it a secret means way more. Way more thinking and sneaking around went into this because he knew it would hurt you. Because some (NOT ALL) married couples do this. But it’s not a secret because they have openly talked and agreed on it in that specific relationship. My husband knows I would leave and never see him again if he did that…unless our relationship mutual and consensually welcomed this.

He was horny and needed to wank - sorry what exactly was he wanking over by just messaging escorts and finding out their prices/availability? 🤔 Yea sounds like a load of BS to me. Look at how he lied when you confronted him, before finally admitting what he did. Just remember he may be admitting a half truth just to get you off his back. The sheer fact that he is one of *those* men who have to pay for sex/enjoy using sex workers is gross in itself. I know I wouldn’t be able to get past that if I found out my husband was like that. Also you have to manually unsync Apple products so you aren’t overthinking things, he did that so you can’t snoop on his activities anymore.

The idea that he’s saying he did this because he needed to cum is fucking stupid. Jerk off. Look at porn sir🤨 Why do you need to PAY a human to cum? Why can’t you Google “big boob woman” or whatever. Watch it, cum and move on. Plenty of porn sites. these individuals create videos specifically for the buyer. So if your man wanted a strip teaser or her to play with herself while yelling his name…she would based on xyz pricing she has. And now it’s not just any pornography video, it’s a very intimate and special one that very much caters to his desires and feelings. He’s very involved. Why not ask your wife to do this for free? Ask her to dress up and play the silly game (if partner is consenting to it). Yall both made the choice to NOT have sex before marriage. You stood on that and he was wobbly with that. The idea sounds great until his dick is hard and…he found a loop hole. Not fucking chicks but paying them to virtually create content for him so he feels likes he’s having sex….

And un synced fit a reason. Because he had a fucking vault of video and pictures he’s paid for. You just didn’t find it. If he paid $5-20 per video..you think he’s automatically going to delete them for good? Perhaps..I don’t know him. But because he’s already done two bold face lie to you (concerning this topic/issue)…I would say “hell no” Those photos are still there. He removed his Apple ID so that any image and text that are now in his iPhone won’t automatically appear on the iPad. He can also move images and video to the cloud and grab them as needed. Listen, do what you think is best. I just tore this shit apart because my bestie had a similar situation because she dodged a bullet and DID NOT MARRY THAT boy.

@Olivia 🌻 thank you, you need an outside perspective sometimes x

@Jo Santacruz yea it’s the only thing I’ve found. It makes me feel confused and disrespected. If it was another person I’d see it as cheating. I find it hard to admit in my personal situation for some reason. X

@Neena it does sound like bs yes. How do you get off on the texting of it alone. I starting to think more went on. And how he lied first off. I knew he had a history of using sex workers and it made me feel uneasy but he made out it was a past past thing from a dark time in his life. I thought you had to manually unsync and wondered was it to hide his actions but was doubting myself. Now we’re married he’s threatened divorce several times in what would be a disagreement. He makes them an argument and says he wants divorce.

It feels icky but can you use his phone for something? Like "can I google something quick" when he's sitting with you. Then you can check texts. It's sneaky but so is trying to hook up with people and then lying to your fiancee.