Please help, I’m desperate

Have you asked her about it? Communication is key, and even with kids they usually have a reason. Ask why. And CALMLY explain things to her. She might be small but don’t talk down to her eaither.

Yeah she says “I wanna talk about it later” and gets defensive and it triggers my yelling 🥴 so I’ve said “okay..” then she says “well I don’t want to share” okay that’s fine then she says “I only scratched fancy Ryan I’ll go say sorry tomorrow” i tell her saying sorry doesn’t take back the hurt that you’ve inflicted on someone):

Hi kenzie, firstly, you are doing an amazing job as a Mum! All behaviour children display is a way of communication, you baby is only 4 and learning how to play, share, communicate, understand emotions, feeling, consequences, etc. It sounds to me like she may be having a hard time sharing her space, again very typical for children her age. Some things that may help: Doing sharing activities at home, role play (e.g. if she were to touch something you were playing with you can model how to respond "oh I am playing with that X maybe I can share it with you in a minute, or "how about we do it together" things like that) instead of saying "no we don't do/say that" just show he the correct way of doing it/saying it. It may be worth speaking with school and finding out if these behaviours are seen often, in what setting, any particular children, etc... she will get there ❤️❤️❤️

Girl.. thank you so much 🥹🥰 thank you for your kindness and validation, I’m definitely going to try those things and have a meeting with the school

Try talking to her about the incidents, she may not be used to being around a bunch of different kids, let alone sharing. Explain to her how hitting is not okay/not nice and to be more vocal instead like “can I play with that now?” “I don’t want to be bothered right now.”” Please leave me alone “ or “I need space/ Please give me some personal space.” Maybe find ways to help her regulate her emotions also when she feels like she’s getting upset to sit with herself and maybe teach her breathing exercises like breath in deep through your nose and exhale out your mouth 3x to let out/release your anger/bad feelings to feel better. There’s different ways you can teach her to regulate emotions, but that’s just an example. I know she’s 4 but you’d be surprised. You can also do forms of discipline also other than hitting for instance after talking to her about an incident that may have happened that day you let her know “you still have to sit in the time out corner for (x amount of minutes)…

@Kenzie you got this mama ❤️❤️

… for (what she did wrong) and let her know that next time she has to remember to use her words/ do her breathing exercises instead (or whatever you decide to teach her) instead of what she chose to do that day like hitting or throwing a toy at someone or whatever the issue was… just don’t reward her for bad behavior, it can be harder to deter her from doing those things if you do. I’m trying to explain it all the best way I can without it sounding like nonsense lol. I hope it makes sense.

Children can meditate too as long as you teach them by explaining how it can help them, how to do it and even sitting and doing it with them! I checked your profile and noticed you said you meditate. That could be a great way for her to learn to regulate her emotions better😊

I'm having a similar experience. 4 year only child boy who is starting to get behavior notes as well. These comments are helping. Thanks for sharing your story and those that commented