I’m married with a crush on my neighbor.

I’m married. Not totally happy, but working on it. I have no intention or desire to sleep with anyone beside my husband, but I have a super hardcore crush on our neighbor. He has a baby similar in age to ours and has become friends with us. His wife is VERY religious, and he likes to get away for a beer here and there. He’s very unhappy in his marriage but is trying to push through “18 years”. He’s 10 years younger than I am and BUILT! Not to mention he has a columbian accent. He’s very kind. Non-judgmental. Just likes to chill. My husband and I speak little Spanish but try to learn common phrases. Esta Bien¿ is a common Spanish phrase for are you good. (As far as I know). However we have learned that Esta Bien in Columbia means something more like ‘hey… you look good 😏’ and Esta Bueno¿ is the term in Columbia. He came over a couple weeks ago and I asked him “Esta Bien¿” and then immediately corrected myself and said “No No lo siento (I’m sorry) Esta BUENO¿” He laughed and said Si, bueno, but no Esta bien? At which point I immediately turned red, laughed, and said, well yeah… obviously Esta bien. And then busied myself with dishes. He said Esta Bien back to me and I laughed and shrugged it off and said, no, no, not really. I’m old. You’re young and your wife is gorgeous! (she is). He said, yeah but everyone is attractive in their own way. I feel like he was flirting and my crush went from like 2 to 8 or something. We’ve been around each other since, but I’ve been too shy to try flirting again. Idk. I know this is stupid. I think it’s just the thrill of feeling attractive to someone and the thrill of being flirtatious again. I’m 10 yrs his senior. I hardly think I’m actually attractive to him. And as I said before, I have no actual desire to be with anyone but my husband. Thoughts? Experiences?

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It’s just a crush it sounds like from your description & perspective. It’s normal to find other people attractive. If you wanted more he may or may not but it could ruin a friendship and two marriages to push anything else. It sounds like you have no more desire than simple attraction here

Girl I wouldn’t *try* to flirt 🤣 keep that moment and enjoy it. The crush will pass. Furthering this lustful feeling could break apart two families and two marriages, unhappy or otherwise!

Yes crushes pass. Don't worry about it. Take what you like about him and use it to help with your own relationship with your husband. Let your husband know things that you can do differently. These things are normal

I had a crush on my priest while married lmao he was my age, super nerdy, and very cute. My husband joked that he liked me but neither of us had any actual interest. Enjoy the company and the security that comes from friendship that can and will never go anywhere. Just be careful that you don't allow anything that could hurt your partners or children.

You could ask yourself: Would I be entertaining this if I WAS totally happy? Would I be brushing this off if my husband were the one being flirted with? Would I feel icky about calling him attractive if he and his wife were solid? Maybe that will put it into perspective to what the feelings actually are

A crush is very different than finding someone attractive. I know a handsome man when I see one, but I don’t have crushes on them. When you have a crush that means you are experiencing feelings. Fully committed marriages have no room for crushes. When you are happily married, you don’t look outside the marriage at all. This experience is shining light on something in your marriage that is lacking. What is it? Journal this. Then lean into your marriage all the way and remember every reason why you married the man you did and every way he made you feel those feelings and demand from your marriage that you start doing the things that keep you in your marriage fully committed. This is a next level thing: I would also have a serious conversation with my husband and share what I’m going through, see if he has ever experienced what you are experiencing and not hide it. Lastly, I would not be in association with this person anymore.

Thank you all for your words. It was very helpful.