Step moms

I hate my step daughter and need to vent. From the beginning things were ok but once her dad started to kiss me around her she would say eww no stop and then everything else has been ew no I hate her and she make rude comments about me. She is 12. She told her dad she doesn’t want to live with me (we moved in together about 6 months ago) and it’s just been hell. He works a lot so it’s just me, my kids and her. She is mean to my kids and stays in the room all day until her dad comes home. She doesn’t even come out to eat. I have stopped offering her food because I know if she is hungry she will ask or can simply feed herself. She knows she can eat whatever whenever she is hungry. She grips him up and massages his neck and feed him her ice cream when we are out. We were out to lunch and she asked him to cut her food and feed her. She does a lot of things I consider inappropriate especially at her age. It’s to the point I don’t want to look or talk to her, her mother isn’t around so she is with us 100% of the time. I started to resent her once she threw rocks at me and screamed I hate her “. Ever since then I just cannot see myself ever having a relationship with her. My boyfriend has my back alot of the times but he wants me to try harder and I feel I already tried and gave up so now it’s forced I think if she made her bed then she needs to lay in it. God I’m such an awful person to feel this way. I’m also pregnant and my kids are so happy and she is the only one in the house hating. Her looks are so mean and I just want to smack the look off her face

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Were the circumstances around her parents separation tough? Maybe she is feeling jealous that her dad is dating someone

Given her behaviour I can totally understand why you would feel resentful. But what I think you have to factor in is that she is very much still a child. She is likely at the beginnings of puberty with hormones all over the place and probably finding it difficult to accept someone new in her dad’s life,along with other kids. Especially as she doesn’t have her own mother involved. Maybe you could ask her if she’d like someone to talk to about how she’s feeling? Like a counsellor? But leaving her to it is just going to continue breeding resentment from you both and the situation will never get any better

@Haley they hooked up in high school and the dad took baby while mom moved away

@Sarah she never wants to talk. She is always “just fine” or “doesn’t want to talk about it” she doesn’t want counseling I told my s/o to put her in anyways

Yeah I mean I would assume she wouldn’t want to talk to you given how she is with you but it sounds like some sort of counselling might be beneficial if she will give it a go. I have a difficult relationship with one of my partners kids and she twists things I’ve said and relays it back to her mum completely differently than how it’s been said so she barely makes any effort to see us (nearly 12) so I do understand to some degree. I feel like I’ve bent over backwards to help her and she just doesn’t appreciate it at all. 😔 they’re so awkward at this age! But as the adult we have to keep trying

When I was around her age my dad married my now step mum, and it was really rough at the start. Me and my siblings didn’t want to view her as a mother, we always wanted more attention from our dad, and if we couldn’t get it we withdrew. It was a really hard time at that age, it was easy to just feel super replaced (and she was the loveliest lady too… nothing on her end). I think sometimes it can just take time. I don’t think I got close with my step mum or her daughter until I became an adult. I always resented her as though she was trying to replace my mum, when really she was just looking after me. Just do your best to be her best friend, always be supportive even if you get nothing in return - she is a kid, and at that age their world really does feel small and like it revolves around them

I have a step mom who I don’t like either and I was 16 when she came into my life. I totally get what this girl is going threw but my parents divorced and I bearly had both parents in my life o was raised until the age of 17 by my grandma and then I got married after finding out I was pregnant. My point is. For teenage girls it’s hard on us to have step mothers especially if she feels your taking the place of her mother and also did her dad ask her if she wanted you to live in or did you just move in when he asked you cause chances are she didn’t like you from the start and now that your living with her she is gonna not like you even more than she already don’t.