Advices needed

Im a solo mom of a 3 months baby and everyone I know around me is married so I don’t really know anyone that I can relate too and I need some advice from single moms. BD went kinda MIA since im 4 months pregnant an the baby and I are living in another country now. I still announced him that from his sperm donation a baby was born. He answered me few days later all cheesy and trying to blame it on me (he looooves playing the victim) about the situation and asking about the baby. I answered by trying to lead the convo to us clear things up cause I don’t want resentment to built on his side but he didn’t answer neither asked anything about the baby. Since then : no news He has my number, my instagram (I even have his mom on insta too) I blocked him from seeing my stories but he had enough audacity to like one of my recent pictures I posted. Today his mom posts pictures of him and his sisters at the beach and I can see there’s another person in the car ride with them… (I always suspected he cheated when he went live his life away) I’m not jealous or what I’m just full of anger because he has the time to take trips, enjoy full speed and probably even date but not to write and ask about his daughter… I’m just thinking about the future when he’ll play the victim again and blame it on me that he doesn’t know his daughter, that I didn’t contact him and paint me as a bitch when in fact he could as much have written to me He’s not the one taking care and growing a tiny human 24/7 so i don’t think im the one who should take time to write to him and beg for his attention, i have enough on my plate Like if my child would have been with him I’ll definitely write or call to ask… I know I can’t control people actions and thoughts but it’s just so hard to let go and not think about the future and what could result of all of this So how do you cope with a deadbeat father?

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Mine said, and I quote, "If you want me to see the baby, then you need to call me and invite me to come and see her." 🙄 Like, how about you call me and be like, you home? I want to come see my daughter? How about that?. Why do we mums have to do everything for these idiots. As for dealing with it, I just told him to stay away from us and that if he still wanted to be in his daughter's, he should take me to court (been 6 months since I last heard from him). He was absolutely horrible to me throughout the pregnancy, and having him around was beyond exhausting. So, having that peace of mind helps me deal with it.

Yeah you just gotta look at it as crisis averted.. I mean do you want someone like him to be an influence in her life? Someone who doesn't even seem to care, and who loves playing its everyone else's fault but mine poor me, nah no way, right? It's sad for baby that he isn't trying... also you really just have to accept it and say ya know what I got this.. and it's probably better this way anyways. If he doesn't have any influence you can choose to parent however you wish, no one to undermine your choices or do the opposite and confuse the child. You don't have to share the precious first moments with anyone who wouldn't even cherish them the way they should. You'll be there for it all and that's what counts. I just looked at it this way with my first bd situation. Being a single mom can be really overwhelming sometimes, its such a blessing though. Hope this helped even a little🙏

@Betty that’s just insane 😮‍💨 thank you for taking the time 🤍

@ren that’s exactly what I was thinking during the pregnancy but it seems I forgot, thank you for reminding me 🥰💪🏻

I’m in the same situation as you. I can tell you now that you dodged a bullet. Men like this take no accountability for their actions and I believe they will come to regret abandoning their children. I understand the anger but eventually you will accept it and let it go. The positive is you can raise your baby in peace and not worry about dealing with a man-child. Eventually, when you least expect it, you will meet someone amazing who will love you and your baby. Things happen for a reason but all the love and hard work you put in to raising baby girl correctly will be worth it in the future. 💕

@Miranda thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot 🥹🥰