Back to work/New Job
My son will be 3 months old here in a few days. Around that same time, I go back to work as a teacher. I have been off with him for 3 months, while I am thankful for the time I’ve had, I’m so sad and it’s hitting me like a ton of bricks. Additionally, I have been miserable at my former teaching job as a middle school special ed teacher and felt so burnt out and lost my love for teaching/dealing with tone deaf admin who weren’t supportive. So I decided to take the plunge and work at a neighboring school district teaching elementary special education where my spouse also works. I will take a pay cut but I will be off earlier and my husband and I will be on the same schedule, but different schools. I am also overwhelmed with the “newness” of a new job and feeling overwhelmed and scared that the grass isn’t necessarily greener on the other side. I went to lunch with some people at the school and out of nowhere I felt so anxious and later had a panic attack. A few of the people I met are very nice, but I am just so nervous I didn’t make the right decision. But I feel if I completely stay home with my son or work part time, my postpartum depression and anxiety will only worsen as it has been very bad. I’m just struggling and wish I could just be happy. 😫 Can anyone relate?
I start back on Monday and since I’ve been on maternity leave(since May) I’ve gotten new coworkers and a new manager. So I can understand somewhat the feeling of going back to something new and different when life has already been so new and different. I experienced postpartum depression really bad my first 4 weeks. Thankfully it’s gotten better but just remember you are strong and you’ve survived 100% of the hard days so far. You will do great! It might take some adjusting but try to shift your thinking. Instead of thinking about the difficult parts of starting new, think of how great everything can turn out. Everything happens for a reason! Good luck, you got this! Rooting for you!