Husband Vent

Hi everyone. I just want to get on here and vent for a moment and maybe ask what your thoughts are because mine are all over the place. My husband just got a raise yesterday (yay!) but I don’t think it’s nearly enough for me to become a SAHM. Either way, I like working on the weekends. My job is fun and peaceful and while I don’t make/bring in a lot of money for the bills, it’s nice making some to use as I please (mostly on baby, honestly) and it’s not something I necessarily want to give up quite yet. Maybe down the line but not yet. Today, we are talking and he’s telling me that he “is not willing to overwork himself” (his exact words) because his job is manually demanding and he then comes in and takes care of BB while I’m at work. I’d say that even during the times that I’m home on the weekend (before or after my shift) I’m always ready to jump in and help and he just lets me cause he’s tired. Anyway, he’s asking me to work less or take time off (but like, I’m just working two days a week— come on) so that way he isn’t “overworking himself” and I just about lost it. While I’m drained during the week taking care of our little one, I don’t complain much. Now I know it’s not nearly as physically demanding but it’s hard in its own ways. My weekends are also a break for me to get away for a few hours and I feel like he’s trying to get a grip on my time. MY TIME. I told him I don’t want to quit which he responds by saying he’s not asking me to but “it’s not necessary for (me) to work now”. For context, his mom is a SAHM with dad always providing and that worked for them but I don’t want that (maybe later). No shame in those who are! It’s great if that’s exactly what you want for yourself. I just can’t get over the fact that he sees taking care of our son as “overworking himself” and that it now feels that he wants to control how I use the time that’s suppose to be mine.
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you BOTH created that child. if you quit your job even tho it’s only 2 days you’re going to end up burned out. those 2 days are the only days you get a couple hours to yourself. sounds to me like he wants to chill and leave the baby raising to you. i’m a sahm.. i’m working 24/7. there’s no break. when he comes home don’t expect him to take over if you quit your job. don’t do it girl.

@Eri you’re so right. And I applaud you for all the work you’re doing because I know it’s not easy by any means. He just called me and told me that I’m tripping and that I’m not being fair to him. That I don’t understand and if roles were reversed, I’d be saying the same thing to him. That he wishes he could just stay home. I’m so livid and crying my eyes out because I don’t know what to say without feeling like I’m in the wrong for speaking my mind. I never wanted to be someone who let my partner control what I did but it feels like I’m being backed into a corner and I’m so fucking frustrated because I would always be the one to be in control on my life…

i get it, trust me i do. but don’t let yourself get lost in the sauce just because you’re a mom. he’s also a DAD. you shouldn’t have to be a single mom in a relationship. i’m grateful my fathers child still works and also does 50/50 with my at the house. if he understood how hard it was maybe he wouldn’t be saying those things. but also acknowledge what he’s saying. he’s just tired BUT so are you, talk to him and acknowledge that you’re both tired but that you BOTH need to raise the baby. not just you.

give him up my friend

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