I have mixed emotions…

I was originally pregnant with identical twins but lost baby b twin at 8 weeks but baby A is growing normal and perfect but I sometimes feel sad I lost a baby but I’m also super grateful I have my one baby growing good. Is what I’m feeling ok? I feel guilty being excited after I lost 1/2 of my babies. Baby b is still in my belly just being squished to the side. He passed when he was the size of a strawberry. I dont know how I would have taken care of twins as a first time mom but I am still sad and grateful at the same time. I just want my baby boy so bad but still don’t know if I have the right to even grieve his brother bc I still get a baby out of my pregnancy. 😐