Hate being a boy mum
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That is so untrue what your mental health visitor said!! It all depends on THEIR relationship. My mom and brother are so close- he is such a mamas boy and will be forever. He is 23 and calls her everyday on his way to work. It has been like this forever. Also false about daughter in laws- teach your son to pick a good one. I love my mother in law! We get together about once a month just the two of us (and the baby) and just chit chat and hangout! It can be okay- everyone is different!
I wish I had had a girl too 😅 I don't think it wrong to feel sad about not having one or the other but it definitely isn't helpful to lean into those feelings too much since I think it catastrophizes it. And best not to like write your future before it even happens. So like something I think about when my kids are older is to be the house where my kids and their friends want to be, making sure it is a fun house (not like crazy or anything goes but 😅) like we want to have a lot of space so they can do outdoor games and have trees for forts/climbing and have a rockwall. I know it sounds like a lot but we really want them to bring their friends over and spend time around us as teens. Bless you, I still want a little girl in my life too like hoping to someday just not able to have anymore pregnancies 💔
@Barbara i think MIL can be pushy but I think it's because they feel so left out. Mum's with daughters get to do wedding dress shopping and are included with more wedding prep. When kids come along mum's with daughters get invited to more things and get to be around the kids more. From what I've seen boy mums get pushed aside a lot more. I hope that I get a daughter in-law like you.
@Emily from what I've seen and read mamas boys get called creepy (Particularly on mum's net) I will try and make sure my boys feel like they can come to me. I want a positive relationship with them. I want to help their families as much as I can
@Grace I try not to catastrophize. I was just putting my youngest baby clothes up for sale and just couldn't help but sob. My husband is dead set against another pregnancy. I don't want to get pregnant because I want a girl because odds don't work like that. I just like you feel sad.
I lost my mum in April so sudden and have 2 young boys and honestly without my mother in law I would never of got through it- my brother was also so close to my mum & my partner sees his mum every day she is always around at ours and we all have the best relationship. It doesn’t always work out like that x
Not true. My brother is 25 and calls my mom every single day. Sometimes multiple times a day, he’s probably closer to her than I am honestly. My husband and his mom are also super close, they talk every single day. I used to have a really good relationship with my mil. We would hang out just us and we were actually good friends. It did unfortunately changed after I got pregnant because she started spiraling about being the “dad side of family” and has this same mentality of wanting to be needed. When your children don’t need you anymore, it means you did a great job as a mother in raising responsible independent adults. And as a woman, I also don’t need my mom anymore, I do want her around and always will. My advice is not to spiral, my mil was so afraid of being “dad side of family” that she ended up turning herself into it.
Yeah not true I’m one of 5 children 4 of them being my brothers. All of them but 1 still live with my mum and the one who moved out lives across the road from her quite literally 😂 the eldest brother is 31 to put it into perspective. They are all a lot closer to my mum than I am but that’s because we are too similar so we end up clashing a lot and the reason I moved out at 17. It’s all to do with how you raise them and this will then create the bond that you want. Trust me boys are so loving and loyal to their mums my partner only stopped talking to his mum because she was so horrible about me and my children and this deeply upset him. So long as you don’t do anything like that then boys always need their mums. I’m now having a girl and I’m terrified because of the relationship I have with my mum not being close and trying to figure out what I’m going to do different to make sure me and my daughter are close x
Yeah I think that's good, and I can totally relate, a girl would've been so fun!
Why you so fixated on what they might possibly be like in the future? Also, why is it all so negative? These aren’t facts, just opinions
@Colette my husband doesn't talk with his mum or step mum. My dad doesn't really talk with his mum either. So to begin with I don't have a good picture. I've only ever seen negative things about mother in-laws from women on forums. Women not dating men who have good relationships with their mum's as they find it Weird. Women claiming mils being pushy because they want help with wedding prep, child care ect. My youngest is 8 weeks old so I'm also under pre natal mental health team so that should give you a picture of where my head space is! I started to put my son's clothes up for sale. The ones he's grown out with and with the knowledge my husband will not even entertain the idea of another baby I started to cry and panic about the future. Which I'm allowed to do. I'm grateful that OTHER people have been kind enough to ease my worries instead of make me feel horrible.
My boyfriend never came across as a mummy’s boy in a creepy or cringy way like not a man child but he has such a good relationship with his mum! He loves her and you can tell and he always keeps in contact with his mum which is reassuring as we have a son. He still needs his mum just as much as I need mine x
I may also add I have a brother who’s 21 and he still needs our mum too and spends as much time with her as me and my sisters and this has also never affected his relationships with girls x
My mum and brother have a great relationship, he tells her everything still and he’s 38 😂❤️x
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I totally disagree. My husband is very close with his family we see them 3-4 times a week. He talks to them daily. It all depends on the values and relationships you build with them whirl they are young and maintain into adulthood. I am not that close with my family I talk to my in-laws daily as well and often go visit with our son while my husband is at work. Not all in-laws are seen negatively by the daughter inlaw. This is my 2nd marriage and I had a very close relationship with my ex husbands family too (I still see and talk to his parents) I have 2 teenage nephews (16 & 18) and they both are beautiful, respectful young men who have great bonds with their mums. In my opinion the boys who are close to their mums grow into men who love and respect the women in their lives and become the perfect husbands and fathers.
Just make sure you respect your DIL when the time comes and you will always be welcome around them and perhaps invited to lots of events.
I love my mother in law. My husband is an only child and the typical man that won’t call his mum and will spend 30 seconds on the phone with her when I convince him to call her. His mum always been good to me and treats me like a daughter and I treat her like a second mum. I think MILs can have a bad rep but a good woman that loves her partner will care about his mum and will be happy she shows an interest. This being said some MILs can be a bit pushy so there needs to be a balance.