Am I over reacting?

My MIL came over to bring us food for dinner which she does pretty often so she can watch the baby. She pushed my fiancé and I to sit down relax and eat so we did. I got my baby’s dinner plate ready and told my MIL you don’t need to feed her she feeds herself she’s just a little slow because she’s still learning (she’s 10 months) she kept making comments saying my baby was starving “Oh I really wish I could just feed her with a spoon” and after endlessly telling her no she grabbed a spoon and started feeding her anyway so I just shut up. Then she claimed the food I was giving her wasn’t enough (just because she wanted to feed her what she brought for dinner) I said no because she used eggs in it and my baby is allergic to eggs. She went to the kitchen to “get more vegetables) and left my baby alone in her high chair facing a wall so my FIL came and yelled at us saying it was irresponsible of us even though we didn’t even know she left her like that until we saw she was gone into the kitchen. I then said I was gonna give her a bath before bed and the protested saying it was too late and she was tired just “leave her alone” again I shut up to avoid fighting. Within 5 minutes she asked do you want to give her a bath she’s not sleepy while I was cleaning up. After they left I noticed my baby acting different being super fussy and as I got her ready for bed I saw rashes every where on her…. My MIL gave her the food she made for us that had eggs in it…. My fiancé called her and yelled at her and her defense was “well you weren’t allergic to eggs when you were a baby.” “I used egg whites that doesn’t cause a reaction” I don’t know what to do anymore this is the millionth time they crossed the line, they undermine us, and think they can do whatever they want. How do I tell them to politely fuck off. I’m already saying we don’t want them to cook us dinner or drop stuff off but when she just wants to stop by and visit it’s hard for me to say no go away. I’m so done with them

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She clearly has no respect for you so you should have no respect for her! If my MIL did this I wouldn’t be letting her past the front door. You’re definitely not over reacting X

I'd start taking whatever she brings and just putting it straight into the trash 😅 It's wasteful but if she's going to sneak and give your baby something she's ALLERGIC to, she needs to be taught. Fiancé also needs to make sure he's helping manage his own mother (which it sounds like he is)

what!!!!!!!!! my MIL could never !!! please find your feet and stand up tall and tell her she won’t be coming round anymore. if your child was anaphylactic allergic by the time you realised she had rashes it would have been too late. this is not a light situation she needs to fuck right off respectfully !!!!!!! especially if your husband is on your side. girl. type that message up right now.

She’s putting your child’s safety on the line. I would no longer allow her to be unsupervised under any circumstances with your child, if I’d even allow her around your child at all.

You need to be firm on your boundaries. I understand you want to keep the peace but she's endangering your child and going behind your back, shutting up won't do any good for you, she'll keep on walking all over you. Personally, I would seriously restrict access after this and only reconsider it with partner once they've shown their respect

I hope you took a picture of your baby skin and send it on a group chat with a message regarding this whole situation and boundaries. She put your baby in danger doesn’t respect you, etc.. I am allergic to over 10 different foods most that cause anaphylactic shock even when a spoon touches it. Knowing how I felt in the past and how I’ve reacted and nearly died, this is no joke, and a baby cannot advocate for themselves so you must advocate for them.

I understand your want to be polite but she put your baby in serious medical harm. As said before what if it caused an anaphylactic shock, that is beyond serious. By allowing them to be and stepping all over you and baby, this is not teaching the kid to respect their own boundaries. I’m sorry but I wouldn’t be polite, they surpassed that a while ago. Trust is earned. Honestly mil seems selfish and it all being about her.

Also she’s clearly lacking some brain cells with understanding allergies, so I doubt she understands that with each exposure the reaction tends to be more severe. This is actually just mind blowing that she knows your child is allergic to something and gave it to them anyway. Pretty sure this is a crime she’s just committed…

At this point you don’t tell them politely. Your babies health and safety comes first. It’s very clear that they don’t care for or respect your boundaries, yourself or even your child. Tell them straight up that they need to back off or be cut off - you don’t play with allergies like that because each time it can get worse. This is just straight up stupid. Set those boundaries, ensure they know the consequences of crossing them and hold firm on those consequences. Don’t just let them walk all over you for the sake of peace because then you’ll become resentful. And truth be told what would have happened if your baby had a more severe reaction? Needed hospitalisation? Life threatening complications?

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