Grief
Morning mamas, my little one was born at 35 weeks , and we stayed in NICU due to extremely high levels of bilirubin, I actually almost lost her. And was instructed to prepare myself for the worse and inform my partner.
Unfortunately we had separated and he refused to come to NICU and I hasn’t thought about any of this until I watched a movie and a theme of a premature baby was played out.
I was very triggered and have been sad ever since. My little one is 21 weeks now. But I don’t know anyone else in a friend group who has experienced this. And the trauma of the beeps and the hushed sounds and the lights.
And being abandoned in your worse hour of need. Luckily she made it through but we left hospital 6 weeks later. And I am only just now acknowledging this. Has anyone else experienced this delay in trauma? x
I can relate to what you describe as delayed grief. After we went home and everything was fine, I went back to work and tried to pick up "normal" life. When my baby was six months corrected and was doing very well, I finally got out of survival mode. The trauma of NICU, the beeping, the health threats, possibility of handicaps, I was slowly realizing everything. My baby is almost 1 corrected now, and I am feeling a lot better. What helped me is to allow myself to feel sad and cry by myself, but limit it so I wouldn't get lost in it and so I could still be a good mom. When I felt to drained I would grab a book and read to her. Or put on music and dance with her. It helped. And I tried to do a lot of the clichés that can help mental health like eating well, sleeping when I could, going out for short walks. And time really heals! Things will get better, even with little effort. You are as resilient as your little one! And you will feel pride more and more about everything you've overcome! ❤️