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Husband just left

My husband and I argued about something small and stupid, I got a bit upset and put headphones and started tidying up because I wanted some space. He started calling me a cunt, telling me to go fuck myself and all kinds of nasty things that aren't true at all. He smashed the kitchen cupboard next to me. Then he vaped and came back to me and asked why I was so upset. I told him, compared to how upset I am now "before" was nothing. He started screaming and calling me crazy and I asked him to be quite because our babies will wake up. So he started whispering into my ear. I told him to stop provoking him. Next thing I know he is asking me if I want him gone forever and I said it's up to you. I said, if I am such a cunt and I should fuck myself then yes. He said, are you SURE? FOREVER? I said yes. And he left. I don't know what to feel yall. I am so broken. It was such a small argument but I told him to leave forever because he always treats me so shit during arguments that I couldn't take it anymore.

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Sounds like he may have some unaddressed mental health issues.

@Kimberly He does. He did a self referral 3 months ago when he finally agreed to seek help but no reply yet😭

I have just had the same thing except mine is fiance not husband, he is a nasty person when we argue and he has got hands on, not hitting or anything but grabbing my throat and he gets very close and it's quite threatening. My fiance has diagnosed mental health problems so that is part of it and it had been getting worse, turns out he had been off his meds for a few weeks prior to us having a break before christmas. We went to the council to get him out and i told them the above so now the police are doing a whole wellbeing check on me and stuff. My fiance is now back on his meds and is trying to do better as he finally listened to me and realised I'm serious.

Let the trash take itself out. Hes manipulating you, making you feel and seem like the bad guy. So when people ask its “oh poor me, she kicked me out, there were no warning signs, what did i do to deserve this” blah blah blah. YOU deserve better. His baggage and emotional issues are NOT your problem. You should never have to walk on eggshells around the person you are sharing your life with. That sounds exhausting, “can i say this, should i say that, should i do this, etc” . Your babies deserve better. And when theyre older, they WILL be able to notice this chaotic behavior. Rather a one parent home over a toxic one. Never stay for the kids, stay for you. And if you cant find anything youd want to reconcile for that isnt the kids, its time to move on boo. Im sorry you are dealing with this. Emotional abuse and verbal abuse is ABUSE .

Sadly with the self referrals they take so long to get to you unless you are at risk of ending things. I self referred a few years ago, when they finally got to me I was established on meds and felt fine, so it got declined. A year later I was in a dark place and said the words, they had me speaking to someone within a week. Is he seeking any medicinal support from the GP in the mean time? Either way, this behaviour is not right and you should nt have to put up with it and I’m so sorry you have had to xx

@Tania Oh no, I am so sorry! Yes, definitely si hard to be with someone who has mental health issues. I think my husband also needs. He definitely needs help, it's inadequate and pathetic and he is not himself during arguments

@Lily It's so hard! He came back 15 min. later and started apologizing and saying he needs psychological help and that he really doesn't want to lose me etc. And he put himself an alarm for tomorrow 8AM to make a GP appointment for urgent help with his anger issues. I am giving him this chance because I see how much he is trying and fighting. In the meantime he definitely lost a big part of trust and love through this stupid behavior.