Gender

Sex and gender are different. But I definitely think gender conversations should wait til a certain age or puberty because I agree it can be confusing.

Exactly if you let a child believe they are neither boy or girl then once they get into middle school or even higher elementary school and they start to see okay there’s boys and there’s girl but no one like me I just think they would lead to bigger problems

“Dress for her gender”? 😬 they’re just clothes. Clothes don’t have gender. Neither do toys. Or colours. Whilst I dont necessarily agree with the lack of bio sex from birth, there is also no need to shove it down your child’s throat.

i’m raising my son as a boy. he will wear whatever he wants to wear if it’s a bluey shirt that happens to be in the girls section who gives a shit. if he wants to paint his nails why not? i’m not gonna be putting him in dresses and putting makeup on him or anything but if he asks then sure

By all means I do not mean she has to dress in pink or girly colors she has wore some boys clothes since birth I personally don’t like the color pink or any girly things but she will have the choice in what clothes she wears when she gets to the age of picking out her clothes she can wear whatever color or design what I meant was like clothes that say big boy or something along those lines those clothes are designed for BOYS

If my daughter wants to wear a top saying “big boy” or something of the like, then I’ll laugh and buy it for her. Just as I would wear a T-shirt saying “man’s man” or the like if I liked the top. It’s funny and there’s no more to it. It’s just clothing! They’re just children 🤷🏻‍♀️ they like what they like. I highly doubt they’d be much more to it than that. Young children don’t have an agenda. And choosing top that has a slogan on for boys isn’t going to influence their feelings around their own gender.

I'll be raising my son as a boy. He won't be wearing girlie clothes (skirts or dresses). If other people wanna do that, that's not my business.

@Donna Woods and once again like I said in my post it’s my opinion it’s a simple discussion no need for panties to get all jumbled up 😂😂 there is no right an wrong when it’s YOU’RE child it’s all personal preference

I think the issue with todays society is that we brain wash our children into thinking they can literally choose to not have a gender, like what the hell? Science can’t be argued with .. you are either male or female .. schools and social media are massive instigators of that and I’ll be doing all I can to steer my son away from it. The government panders to it as well by creating gender neural toilets .. I dread to think what comes next! “You can choose to not be human” 😫🤷‍♀️

“Panties all jumbled up”? 😂😂😂 sure thing 👍🏽😂😂

@Amanda yasssss period someone that fully understands

@Amanda agreed! On a side note it’s apparently a thing to identify as a cat and have a “human sized” litter box in your home…… 😂😂😂😂

@Donna Woods girl you took a simple thing and started getting all defensive about clothes and toys when that wasn’t even the main subject

@J next thing we gon have a “safe place for your human furry companion to stay while away”

@Donna Woods girl bye you can leave the conversation now🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh I’m certainly checking out. I don’t waste my time on attempting a conversation with the intolerant and ignorant 👋🏽

In fact, as youre hiding behind incognito, please do me the pleasure of blocking my profile. I have no want or need to interact with you by accident when you’re not in hiding

Girl I know we ain’t name calling now oop back to grade school we go😂

@J like what even is this madness 🤣 and I can’t believe the wokeness of people who would be ok and accept this 😫🤪

Name calling? Just calling it as I see it. Your type are NOT my people.

@Donna Woods thought we was leaving the conversation but we still here 😂😂 hey boo

I dress my kids as gender, my girl loves dress and don't even want to wear pants 🤷‍♀️ but I don't let my girl wear something I had for boys unless it was baby clothes and looked unisex 🙂

Feels like alot of pressure to put on a kid tbh I prefer to let my kid choose what he wants to wear and sometimes he wants to put my makeup on when I'm doing mine (I will pretend to put blush on with a clean brush etc for fun). But if he chooses to change genders one day then I'm happy with that too and will easily adjust and support.

@Alayne same when I was a teenager I never did anything a “normal” girl would do but now I love doing many “girly” things I don’t think we should force something on our children that they don’t understand it confuses them and puts them in a state of mind that then gets argued or made fun of in school which leads to bulling and unnecessary trauma we honestly need to re-normalize being the gender you were born to be this world has gotten to complicated and it’s affecting our children not saying that if my child chooses to be a boy or be a boy and girl that I’m not going to support her cause I fully will I just feel we have made the world a lot more complicated then it needs to be

Why are people getting into a debate about clothes and toys that's wasn't the question incognito was asking , some people are so pathetic and wanna argue over stupid shit!!

@Becky yes but we don’t give them what they want we be nice and kind and if they keep it up tell them to leave the conversation but clearly the conversation is to good to leave😂

Growing up my best friend was as tom boy as it gets. In fact when we first met her we actually assumed at first that she was a boy lol. I remember she would say that she wishes she was born a man as things would be easier. When she was 16 she came out to us as lesbian (it wasn't a shock we all knew but waited for her to feel ready). This is going back to 2006. She doesn't want to be a man she just felt that way back then because she was struggling with sexuality. The worrying thing is in this day and age is if she voiced these now she'd probably have started making the change. Because that seems to be what's being pushed on kids now. She was a confused, hormonal teenager. And she even says she'd have regretted it.

@Megan I feel that I have always struggled with my sexuality until I confessed to my husband I wouldn’t say I’m bi but I wouldn’t say I’m straight but I will say whatever my daughter chooses will not be factored on what I like that is fully her choice

I agree with you, nobody should be pushing anything onto small children with regard to their sexuality or gender identity. But for me it goes both ways. Whilst I’m not in camp “we use gender neutral pronouns for our newborn because they haven’t chosen their gender” I’m also firmly not in camp “I’ve got a boy and therefore he must conform to xyz to show his masculinity” They’re children. Nothing has to be that deep.

@Amanda Absolutely this 👏🏽

@Chloe exactly! There is such a thing as being too strict on your child's identity. But it is also possible to be too pushy for openness and pressure of eventually making such a big decision for a child. Both can cause emotional trauma.

My son is a boy. He will wear boys clothes not girls clothes. No you can’t wear a pink dress, paint your nails or do things like that. Simple.

I feel this is one of those non issue issues... 'the whole I don't do gender thing'... like I've not yet met one parent who is actively raising their kids genderless tbh.

I agree with the “it works both ways” comments. I’m not going to force my kids to be gender neutral but equally I am not going to force gender stereotypes on them. The thing which caused me most confusion as a child was being pushed gender stereotypes like girls must dress a certain way or shouldn’t play certain sports. I just wanted to be able to wear trousers and play football and I had been told only boys could do that. Now I’m an adult I know women can do those things but pushing gender stereotypes on kids can be so confusing.

@Megan I was the exact same as your friend. I think my close family knew from very early on just because of how I was. Being a “Tom boy” was what cosmetic natural and of course we had no understanding of being transgendered when we were kids back then, however there is no doubt if things were as easily accessible as they are now, it would have crossed my young mind more than once and maybe even considered making changes but one thing I know for sure now, I am a woman, I love being a woman and I wouldn’t change that for the world but if I had already done it I would have regretted it for the rest of my life! Which is a scary thought that kids have had to deal with this reality as soon as this become a thing 😬

I don’t necessarily agree, but everyone has a choice on how to parent their children.

as a non-binary person with many trans friends, being raised as the gender that aligns with your sex at birth is really important in figuring out who you are. I think it's a necessary discomfort for trans people, you can't know who you are if you don't know who you're not. And learning biological differences is also important with understanding who you are.

No. There are only two gender, male and female. Whatever else that someone has decided to be identified by is their business and that should be theirs alone. You should not be forcing your own beliefs down onto others, especially to children. They don’t need to care or think about that. Let them have a childhood. Let them learn and explore the world at their own pace. Should they reach an age where they can rationally think for themselves and form their own beliefs Then they can live however they want. If a full grown adults get offended by young children simply because they don’t recognise your identity, then that’s a you issue not theirs. Your identity is yours not anyone else’s. It’s your responsibility to make others recognise that, not the other way around. Do adults just forget that they were once a child themselves? Like, come on, don’t make your problem their problems.

@Shay that's literally how my friend feels now. But it's just so worrying that if that happened now she definitely would have made the change. I don't think there's anything wrong with making the change either but I do think there should be an age on it and there should be a lot of counselling involved

Gender refers to the social, cultural, and psychological characteristics, roles, behaviors, and expectations that a society associates with being male, female, or other identities. Gender is distinct from biological sex, which is based on physical and genetic characteristics. So, explain “dress for your gender. “ I mean—if we are talking gender I’m assuming you would never allow your daughter to play with car and trucks. Because society has deem this to be for a certain gender. And you obviously wouldn’t allow her to wear blue as that might confuse genders…because we have said blue is for boys. And your sons certainly can’t use anything pink (red + white). Because society has pushed that anything pink is ONLY for a specific gender *did you know that blue use to be for girls in the 18th and 1900’s?!?

How I feel really doesn't matter. Gender is important for health reasons. Even if a child declares they are trans it does not mean they don't have to take care of the body they have, so they need to be raised to care about the body they have.

My daughter is a girl until she says otherwise. I had an old coworker who was like that over his sister’s baby. And I didn’t like it. Just because he choose to ID as THEY doesn’t make it right to me. That was his choice, let the child choose themselves, until then, it should be the gender that reflects their autonomy especially since there are things that as women and girls we have to be aware of because of it. As far as clothes go, she wears what is labeled girl clothes as well as boy clothes. She has a doll house and Barbies, and spider man, and don’t get me started on her monster trucks and hot wheels! The obsession!! It’s just clothes and toys! clothes and toys don’t change someone’s gender or sexuality. Like let’s please use common sense.

@Nattinan I agree with you 100%. But I’ve changed that argument and logic because we do force religion down children’s throats. So instead I’ve changed it to the fact that they still need to learn to care for the body autonomy they have since regardless that still matters, as well as the fact that there are certain things (mainly girls) still need to be aware of regardless. 🩷🩷🩷🩷

oh BROTHERR

I will not be pushing gender roles or norms on my daughters.

I think this conversation is very interesting cuz I find it fascinating especially Since we are a generation that is obssessed with doing gender reveals these days! lol it’s so contradictory to what ppl are trying to do as a culture. If there really is more than 2 genders (3 if u include intersex) then why are ppl doing gender reveals? 🤷🏾‍♀️ What I also find even more interesting is whenever we talk abt gender identify or the trans topic; the 1st intial thot or example ppl usually use is a boy/man who transitions into a woman. Girl/woman who transition into men are rarely the examples used as topic of conversations; kinda interesting! Also, I’m from Africa & I find America & other continents that for the most have advanced medicine so having these conversations in ya’ll societies has actually become a thing. In my country, all this stuff isn’t even being talked abt in homes, rooms, hospitals or acted upon. So I’m just wondering if it’s environmental or medical, or ppl born that way :)

i'm of the opinion that gender is something everyone deserves to explore in their own time, so for now i'm raising my girls 'as girls', whatever that means, until they tell me that doesn't work for them. i wouldn't want to decide that they are non-binary as i think that's something you come to on your own. but i don't believe in the whole clothes/toys/colours belong to certain genders, so i'm not really forcing gender on my kids too much either way!

I refer to my 3 year old daughter as she/her but she can identify however she wants. It doesn’t have to be permanent either. She can be a girl today and a boy tomorrow, she’s figuring out who she is and that’s okay. It’s my job as a mom to support her and give her the space to grow, it is not my job to tell her who she is supposed to be.

I think parenting is unique and raising your kid nonbinary until they come and declare their gender isn't going to harm them, it's going to piss other folks off though. People are always going to attempt to weigh into your parenting decisions.

If my kid comes out with a penis he’s a boy/male if she comes out with a vagina it’s a girl/female. Simple