Nothing is going the way I wanted 😔

Why did they intervene with a c section?

@Jenece The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and his heart rate dropped. From the time the doctor said I needed a c section to the time I was put under was less than 10 minutes.

You haven't failed, and neither has your body. It's common to have expectations that don't align with reality of birth as it is out of our control. Each person's birth experience is unique; my first was quite traumatic . Remember, your son will love you no matter what, perhaps even more than his father, because he was inside you for so long he is apart of you. Avoid getting caught up in negative thoughts; reflect on the birth and focus on the future. Your journey is uniquely yours, and you brought your child into the world in the way that was the safest for you both. X

My story is kind of similar. I was induced at 39+5 and I ended up needing an urgent c section. I also was not able to breastfeed. I was an under producer. Breastfeeding was the one thing I really wanted to do and I just couldn't! Don't be so hard on yourself ❤️ remember this time is when a lot of your feelings are post partum related and talk to someone if you think it'll help. I had very bad PPA and it finally got better after 20 months! Don't do what I did

So sorry that happened to you! You can still pump and give your baby breastmilk and formula. It doesn’t have to be one way or the other. This is your unique journey. If you didn’t know you can mix formula and breast milk. It helps that baby still get your breast milk. You have not failed. Adapt as needed for you and your baby.

I felt very much the same following my c section. I laboured for 62 hours before my little boy got stuck and bradycardic. I felt that I missed out on all my main wishes for my birth, not seeing him for the first moments of his life. I struggled to get him to latch after birth due to being so exhausted and having a really sore wrist from a cannula going wrong and puncturing my vein. I felt so guilty that my body hadn’t done what it needed and then on top of that that breastfeeding wasn’t working out. I realise now a lot of these feelings were due to lack of professional support post birth. I pumped for the first 8 weeks of his life but my supply was never great and the pumping took over my life and a massive toll on my mental health. I felt like such a failure. However, choosing to switch fully to formula was the best decision for both of us, my boy is now 11 months and a thriving happy healthy baby. Those feelings do get better with time but remember to be kind to yourself ❤️

Try and enjoy the things you can control and that are going right. When you return to more normality you’ll probably not be as bothered as you are now but your hormones are probably still all over the place. Your feelings are valid though but you’ve done your best and like you said everyone is healthy

I have a similar story. Induced at 41+4, labored for 27 hours, started pushing, developed severe preeclampsia, had an emergency C-section. My partner fed him his first bottle and did skin to skin first. He never really learned to latch so we exclusively pump and bottle feed. It's definitely disheartening to not have the delivery you wished for and no one should minimize that but you and your baby are both here and healthy and that is also something to celebrate. Therapy helped me work through my emotions around my son's birth, perhaps you should seek out a therapist to help you do the same? I do think that babies often "light up" more around dads because they don't see their mom as someone separate from themselves until around 8 months! They still think you are part of them, which is so beautiful.

I was induced at 37wks I tried for a natural birth but I wouldn’t dilate and my cervix was closed still. After 24hrs of labor with nothing changing and her risk was getting worse so I ended up having a c section. I wanted the golden hour n I wanted to hold her first. That was not the case my husband had all her firsts. I tried breastfeeding but she couldn’t latch well n she started losing too much weight so we had to supplement with formula. After she got used to the bottle n stopped latching completely. I was looking forward to breastfeeding her to having that bond with her that no1 else had. I fell into a deep depression and suffered ppd. My daughter didn’t feel like my daughter I didn’t want to hold her or anything. It was bad. I talked to my herbalist n she made me a special blend of tea it helped me sooo much n I was back to normal after 2 days. Hang in there it’ll get better. My daughter adores me and sometimes she only wants me. Give it time your lo is connected to u even if it

Doesn’t feel like that. I tried pumping but I wasn’t able to produce enough for her.

Awww I can relate to this so much with my first. I even questioned if my baby was my baby I was adamant they’d given us the wrong baby. I honestly felt gutted that I didn’t get to hold her first. Breastfeeding I can’t relate to as I’d already chosen not to before she was born. I’d seen a friend really struggle and I didn’t want that pressure. However she is now a year and honestly my best mate. I struggle to leave her we have the best bond without breast feeding. You definitely haven’t failed because at the end of the day look what your body grew! This beautiful little boy that you’ll get many years to grow that bond with. Before you know it you won’t be able to go to the toilet without him following 🥰 you’ve done amazing 🥰

My story is similar with both kids, my son I wanted a natural birth, I was induced at 39+4, was taken down at 40+2 to have my waters popped, was in labour for 14 hours got to 5cm and his head started swelling and heart rate dropping with contractions, they asked if I wanted to go 4 more hours or go for emergency c section, I chose the c section as it took me 8 years to concieve (I was adamant for months before I wasn't having a section) I was awake but missed his birth I didn't see anything and by this point I had been awake 32 hours, I tried to breastfeed but sooo tired I fell asleep for the first 10 hours of his life I felt so devastated, they had been bottle feeding him obviously with me being asleep and when I woke up I tried he wouldn't latch, he was Tongue tied, so had to bottle feed as I had no help with breastfeeding... His tongue was cut at 4 days old well he didn't wanna latch at all, I'd lost whatever supply I had and I just delt with it and thought atleast he is fed and healthy... It did hurt

My daughter was an elective section as she was big like my son so wasn't taking the chance to spend nealry a week in hospital away from my son, good experience with that and did manage to see her born, I tried to breastfeed once I was out of theatre and that and she would latch and and I thought great!!! 😍 I went home day after and had the midwife come and she had lost weight... She lost 1lb by 2 weeks... Was told it's a slight concern but can be normal so I continued, I did this for another week and she was just always on me and always seemed hungry so I started doing top ups which helped her sleep and that as she wasn't sleeping always feeding etc, I had a lactation consultant, she was also tongue tied but would latch and it was cut. After her not gaining or slightly losing after a month I gave up felt like a failure again and really messed up my mental health as I was like I'm that bloody stubborn I'd allow my daughter to go hungry and lose weight for the fact I want to breastfeed so I switched to

Bottle feeding and it broke me, but she would still want boobie as she was a boobie monster so would use me for comfort to go to sleep that was helped me and we did it for nearly 12 months before I weaned her off it as she started biting in her sleep and that and that was not a fun experience 😂 Just remember it doesn't always go the way we want and yes your feelings are valid but see the positives of things, you baby is fed and healthy and thriving and we are still providing all that for them, we are warriors and we will do anything for our babies ❤️ be kind to yourself you are doing an awesome job

I also had a c-section under anesthetic & didn't hold my little boy until he was 2 or 3 hours old. I've never felt like he has a stronger bond with his Dad, though luckily. I chose not to breastfeed so that my husband could help with feeding him.

That sounds rough, remember your feelings are valid and you have been through it! Mine never went to plan either really I had a section aswell and spent my last couple of weeks pregnant absolutely gutted. Are you still pumping any milk? My baby wouldn’t latch at all either I could only get her on with nipple shields, have you tried them if your milk hasn’t dried up definitely worth a try.

I had c section , I was awake , she was brought to me after a couple of mins but I still felt those first weeks that she was more bonded to daddy. It was my first but not his first baby so he was more confident than me and he most of the care where I was recovering and unable to do much.. I felt jealous of that but with the weeks passing she’s definitely bonded to me too. She / he will love you both honestly :) and even as toddlers they swing between which parent they want etc. try not to compare … it’s good that bubba has loving parents. My LO also had a tongue tie and lost loads of weight in first week .. took a while to get her weight up and we had to use formula. It was also really painful for me breastfeeding. I felt like I’d failed at my one job. But you have to remind yourself as long as baby is fed that’s the main thing. But I know exactly what you mean. 3.5 months she is now mix fed , I never got my confidence back completely breastfeeding but no pain now after division x

I had a very similar experience. It will get better, you’re an amazing mom for all you have done. All it takes to be a good mom is the desire to be one. And you are really, really trying. That makes you a GREAT one.

Babies usually prefer their dad until about 6/7 months when they realize that their mom is an entirely different person. Remember, they were in your stomach and they were part of you for 8 to 9 months. Just take your baby into a mirror and see who they look at. They will look at you because they think they are you once your baby realizes that you’re two separate people they will want to be with you all the time

I’ve been in an almost similar situation with my first and now with my second. My first was an emergency c section after over 60hrs of labour. Had a planned c section with my second. I’ve come to realise that having a vaginal birth or being able breastfeed does not define you as a mother. Sometimes our bodies don’t keep up with our plans and it’s okay. I had little to no supply with my first, did combination feeding with formula and couldn’t pump. Eventually I stopped lactating all together and she moved to 100% formula. With my 3week old, my milk supply is much better but not good enough to sustain her so I’m back to combination feeding. What’s more important is that mother and child are both healthy and happy. So please cut yourself some slack- you are a good mother and not a failure!

I had a similar experience and totally relate to everything you’ve said so you’re not alone! I also really wanted a natural unmedicated birth and ended up getting an urgent C-section and still feel pretty traumatized by the whole experience. I told my husband it doesn’t feel like I gave birth, it feels like they just cut her out of me. I think it’s normal to grieve the birth you wanted and to feel some amount of envy for people who had a more positive birth story or got to have immediate skin to skin and easy latching (my baby also won’t latch and I’ve been exclusively pumping which is exhausting and almost not worth it to me because of how it’s been affecting my mental health) but realize everyone struggles with something in motherhood. And something I have to tell myself, you’re NOT a failure-some things are out of your control or don’t work out despite your best efforts. You may have PPD too so make sure to talk to someone if you need to process it all. Feel free to message me.