MIL Problem!!!

Your ex MIL might not be able to get to meet the new grandbaby but since she’s likely already established a relationship with your other kids she could realistically go to court for grandparents rights. If this is something you think she would do then it might be best just to let her see the baby and your other children once in a while to maintain control over the situation

But no it’s not selfish, your ex is being selfish by abandoning his children

I actually think it is wrong to keep her away just because you arent with her son and what he has chosen to do. MIL is choosing to want to be part of your grandchildren’s lives. Her son, is an adult and made his pwn decision its not reflection on what she wants. If she isn’t a danger, it is selfish to keep them away. They arent your family but unfortunately they are your childrens family. Personally, I dont like my own MIL so believe me I wish I didnt have to see her ngl but it is the way it is! Doesnt need to see them often ag the end of the day

I do think it's selfish to keep a grandma away from her grandbabies if she's kind and loving. But if she isn't helping you with her grandchildren since she has a son who is being a POS father...then no she can't have access to my children.

@C She didn’t want me and him to get married when we got pregnant with our twins. She didn’t want anything to do with them because she claimed I baby trapped him for money(which I didn’t). Our twins are 15 months old and she’s only seen them maybe 5 times in their life.(Her choice) And when we told her we were having another baby she also didn’t want nothing to do with it. She told me she wanted her son to divorce me and get married to someone else. And she hated that I had my first son by someone else before me and him got together. But she never checked on me or done anything while I was pregnant and didn’t show up for the birth or anything. After I told her she could.

@Becky She didn’t want me and him to get married when we got pregnant with our twins. She didn’t want anything to do with them because she claimed I baby trapped him for money(which I didn’t). Our twins are 15 months old and she’s only seen them maybe 5 times in their life.(Her choice) And when we told her we were having another baby she also didn’t want nothing to do with it. She told me she wanted her son to divorce me and get married to someone else. And she hated that I had my first son by someone else before me and him got together. But she never checked on me or done anything while I was pregnant and didn’t show up for the birth or anything. After I told her she could.

She sounds toxic. I plan to keep my daughter as far away from my bd and his family as possible. They are a strange bunch and I don’t want any of their odd ways to rub off on my baby

Then hell no. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I agree with @Liv. This would be one of the only situations a grandparent would actually have a case for grandparents' rights. As long as she is respectful of you and has a good relationship with the kids, I would let her see them. If you're not comfortable with her having the kids alone, you don't have to allow that...but if she's still trying to be a good grandmother even though her son is an absolute idiot, I'd let her.

After reading the comments. Girl block em. Looks like he wants a new life add his momma to his package. Go live your life the fullest with your babies. Go do everything you've wanted and make memories with your kids. Heck maybe you'll find someone new too. Trust me in this I know he left and started a new life took me 5 yrs but here I am with someone else with my kids an we are happy. When my bd left so did his family but what mattered the most I was able to be there for my babies. your love is the greatest and time too! Block them keep track of everything for your sake xoxo best of luck

Yikes. I'd write her a text message or letter and explain that this is a very painful transition for you, and your ex-husband has made it very clear his intention is to wash his hands of his family and blood. It puts you in a very awkward position as you need to protect your children's feelings and your own going forward, and involving the mother of the man who abandoned his family and wants nothing to do with them is likely too difficult. You feel sorry for her too, as you know this wasn't her choice, but you need to remind her that she doesn't have the right to see your children since her son would like a complete disconnection from them.

Im going to comment as a ex sil… my sister in law went through a situation like this my brother abused her physically and he ended up in jail and deported to our home country (he deserved it tbh) their relationship was toxic. This took a toll on our relationship and on my mother because the babies were 4-7 yo my mom lovedddd those little girls. We completely stopped seeing them ofc and her mom would not bring them aroubd. We have tried to get in touch with them but they kinda avoid us maybe because of what the mom told them? These kids are now teens and i have tried to talk to them and they talk to me here and there since i just had my first baby but the relationship is not the same. I would say do whats best for your kids. My moms heart was shattered by the situation already and then shattered again by not having a relationship with her granddaughters .

Your ex husband actions shouldnt affect his mom if shes willing to help you with the children. Just make sure that you talk to her if you decide to go that route like let her know how much he hurt you and that he wants nothing to do with the kids so you dont want the kids around when hes around stuff like that

Honestly tell her to get her son in check . What does she have to say about her son’s nasty behavior. It’s one thing to not like you, but those are also HIS kids .