Issues eating, any ideas welcome!

Our son has become extremely fussy with food. We have struggled since weaning, he struggled with lumps and then we had a phase where he was trying and eating most. Around a year ago he became a lot more fussy the last 6/7 months this has become worse. No butter on anything, no milk on cereal, no sauces on anything, only meat he will eat is sausage and chicken nuggets/Dino's on occasion, cheese has to be grated and the "right shade", no veg, no fruit (odd banana but very rare) so moved back to baby fruit pouches. He has such a limited amount of food he will eat and even then has days where he won't eat them. He has started now crying at the thought of even sitting down for dinner or tea. We don't force it we do try to encourage and do little competitions (who can take the bigger bites mummy or him etc) he won't even have dessert a lot of the time now. He will refuse chocolate, ice creams etc. I am at a loss. I don't know where to go and how to help. He's had times at nursery where he's gone from breakfast 7.45 until tea 4.45 without eating anything else as he didn't like the dinner provided. Does anyone have any experiences that can help. I'm getting more and more worried about him. After being distraught at the idea of tea tonight he agreed to Dino chicken, beans and potato letters. He literally had a bite of each foot and refused to eat anything else.

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My little boy is having the same problem except I can’t get him to eat the easy stuff like chicken nuggets. He only wants mince and mash with peas or pesto pasta🥲🫠 occasionally he will eat a cheese sandwich though

@Maisie it's so hard isn't it. Trouble is even through he agrees to have that he then won't eat it. The photo is what was left of his tea tonight. He literally had two tiny bites, one off each foot and that was all he's eaten. Our usual guaranteed eat is plain pasta with the grated cheese next to it although even then it's not all eaten but at least he will always have some.

Maybe contact your doctors see what they say! It is very common for toddlers to be very fussy! My daughter for a long time was very fussy but has started eating a lot better it didn’t go on as long as your little one! Have you looked into arfid? X

@Amber unfortunately my GP just says it's an age thing. The health visitor was no help at his two year check just before Christmas. She just said they tend to be a veg or a fruit eater...well he's neither. Her answer was to send me things, when it came it was just about what you need for a balanced diet. Which I know what he needs he just won't eat it. Yeah I was prepared for fussy but not to this degree to be honest. The absolute state he can get himself into is awful to watch just at the thought of having to have food. Id not heard of that but just looked it up and I think I'm going to push back at the GP again and see if there are any referrals he can have. Thank you. X

Defo talk to your doctor again and keep going going going harass them your his mum you know best!!! Does your little one still drink milk at night time ? Or at all? If so maybe try and give him formula that has a lot of nutrients and all the good stuff that he needs if he refuses food xx

I would definitely look into ARFID as getting distraught at the mere thought of food or a meal is a very common symptom. And it's all to do with flavours, textures, colours, keeping foods separate or mixed, etc. Only a few things will be deemed 'edible' to him and even those would provide a struggle for him

@Amber thank you. I hate how they can make you feel like you're just making a fuss and wasting an appointment! Yeah he has a cup of milk at bed time although doesn't always drink all of it but we put his vitamins in that as it's the most he drinks. Xx

@Lisette yes I've been looking into this last night and he does seem to match a lot of the symptoms. I am planning to take him to the health visitor drop in this morning and see if she can do me a referral.

If you don’t have any luck with your health visitor, you could try finding out the contact details for your local paediatric dietitians or Occupational Therapists and getting in touch with them directly - they’re usually the main professionals who would work with those with ARFID. Hopefully they would be happy to have a chat with you about your concerns and let you know whether they think a referral would be appropriate. And even if they can’t accept a referral from you and it has to come from a professional, if they’ve said they think it’s appropriate then it’d give you lots more clout when you then speak to the health visitor/GP x

@Sam thank you. The health visitor I spoke to this morning actually listened to me. It was a different one than the one who did his 2 year check. She asked a lot of questions and got background info on him. She agrees that it is concerning and said she obviously couldn't diagnose anything but she wants him to be seen. So we have a referral, not 100% sure yet who with as she was going to go back to her boss and have a chat with her to see where the best place is for him to be seen. She said I will hear within the next two weeks either for an appointment or to be told I'm on a waiting list and who it's with.

Thank you all so much for the help. It made me push my gut feelings rather than them making me feel like I'm being a fussy mum. We have a referral so hopefully it's the start of getting some advice at the very least. Xx

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