in Pregnancy loss, stillbirth and infant loss 👼

Newborn loss in 2022 , accused by bio family

In 2022 I had my first child and he passed away. Me and my husband were accused by my bio family of being responsible for his death. Last year , some women I've never met approached me on social media telling me they knew my child was dead and that they were told that me and my husband were responsible for his death. They were told this by probably a sibling or a cousin on my side of bio family. How many other people have experienced being blamed by bio family for your child passing away ? These people have been treating us like crap since our loss of our son , accusing us of doing something to our son and telling me to leave my husband because I said that he was supposed to put the baby back to bed and did not. Today I found and saved a screenshot of the cause of death listed as co-sleeping incident. That's sort of why I'm posting about it now. I'm no contact but I'm aching to send this to one of the people who accused me and my spouse and tried to tell me to leave him and say he did something to our son. I know that just never speaking to them again is the right thing to do.

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ETA : they hated us way before this. Our son passing away just became a convenient thing for them to accuse me and my husband of doing because they had decided they hated us prior to my pregnancy and loss of our son. It'll help to mention that I told them to F off and they weren't allowed to meet my child. That's when the oldest sibling decided to start telling people things about my son's death that weren't true. I have a number of bio family who has said this and now they want to reconcile and meet my second child after all they did to me and my husband.

Just a rant , basically. Because I've talked about this online so many times I just decided to come here and talk about it. I've been reached out to during my second pregnancy by the people who think I caused my first child's death. They will not apologize for anything. They're just selfish and want access to my second child.

Hey mama.. I am so sorry you are going through this.. please do not feed into the bullshit, the people you are dealing with are miserable and want to create chaos and cause you hurt.. I went through the same thing, more bizarre my own “mother” told me I sacrificed my son for money days after he had just died, my baby was born with a congenital heart defect and sadly didn’t make it past 24 hours. I have no relationship with her and my life is getting so much better for it. Stay strong and choose yourself, sanity and peace. You deserve it.

A child passing via co sleeping is tragic, and the also the main reason I didn't do it when my baby was tiny. Even now at 8.5 months I can't sleep well if she's in my bed. However, your bio family have no right to accuse you both of this, therefore if personally tell them to fuck off and cut all contact. Its hard enough as it is without having people try to make you feel worse

I’m sorry for the lost. Don’t send anything to them. You don’t need to justify what happened. This is private family matters—don’t go arguing with a stranger. Additionally, I’m happy to hear you want no contact with your family. This is disgusting behavior and I can’t imagine trying to hold a relationship with people that think I caused my own child to pass. How horrible of an accusation and for them to share your business to a stranger is WILD. Continue your healing and mourning journey. You now lost family members and while I’m sure it was best, as accusations like this are not taken lightly, I know cutting folks off is really really hard, especially if you did have a close relationship with said family members before this whole thing went down. Lots of love. And I really do hope you the best for you.

I went through the same with the passing of my daughter in 2021. The siblings of my husband blamed me for my daughter passing away when she was sleeping and the death certificate said a type of sids. As if we don't have enough grief going on people have to go and say things that they have no business talking about. I have had no contact with them in a couple years and it's been the best choice. We don't need to surround ourselves with people that are going to put more salt on our wounds!!!