2nd baby needs donor egg
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Hi, I’m just going through my first donor egg cycle to conceive a sibling for my own egg 3 year old. Only had egg thaw today but I’m already in love with our little potential babies, the genetics don’t change that. Our clinic was great in helping with a visual match for me as I would like it if they somewhat resembled my own egg daughter but there’s no guarantees even with genetically related siblings (one of my nieces looks like my sister in law and the other looks just like me as a kid). Feel free to message me if you want to chat xx
Thank you so much ladies! Do you just get a written description of what the donor looks like? I thought about going out of the U.K. as I understand the donor is only anonymous until the child is 18? I’m 45 in a few months and I just don’t have enough eggs/quality to jet keep hoping each month and ivf isn’t a viable option stats wise.
We got height, weight, skin tone, ethnicity, hair colour, eye colour, education and a personal profile that they’ve written about themselves. I then emailed the matching team a photo of me and our shortlisted donors and they advised which were good matches looks wise. In the UK, yes any donor conceived child can contact their donor when they turn 18. Personally, we preferred that as I’d rather them have the choice to find out more than explain that we’d deliberately gone abroad to deny them that option in future but it’s a very personal choice and there is no right or wrong answer.
That sounds perfect. I have the start of our video calls in March and are looking to go ahead with a chosen clinic in the next few months. How long did the process take from when you decided? I’m wondering how soon I need to instruct them to start? Thank you so much for being here. I’ve felt quite alone. x
Took 3 months for us but it was also around the holidays and they refused to start anything in December. My donor eggs were shipped immediately after I paid and just sat at my clinic waiting to be fertilized and transferred.
@Susan thank you Susan. Did you use frozen eggs? I need to start choosing an option!
Yes, we did.
@Susan i wonder why it took so long. Maybe two months if they skipped December? Timing your cycle and legal stuff? I’m so pleased for you! I’m so thrilled to think there is hope! Did you buy several eggs to make sure you got embryos or for future siblings. People are buying 6-10 and I’m not sure why if this is my last baby? x
We bought 15 eggs and one wasn't mature. So we had 14 eggs. We ended up with 5 genetically normal embryos out of the 8 embyros that made it to day 5 and 6. One embryo didn't survive the thaw, and they transferred it anyway. We had transferred 2, so I did get my only boy. The rest were girls.
Gosh, that’s a lot of eggs. I just saw the breakdown and packages and liked thr sound of the one with a guaranteed blastocyst to transfer. I guess you won’t know if it was genetically normal though asi don’t think they test them…
In our case, it was 1/3 genetically normal, and we really wanted to ensure we got a boy. I was so very happy to get him and he's the best little man ever. He has the best personality, it's calm, and very patient. I couldn't have asked for a better baby.
@Susan aww you can choose? That’s crazy! I did not know that was an option (if I’ve understood correctly). I love how you describe your baby, and you are amazing. You made some very bold moves in many ways to have him. I’ll ask the clinic about what they do and advise. You’ve given me some really great ideas for questions, and I feel supported here. This topic can be quite lonely in the real world xx
@Susan are you pregnant again? I just revisited this page and read your amazing bio with huge family! What a blessing!
In the US you can find out the gender and choose which you want to transfer. In the UK they won’t tell you gender of embryos as it’s against HFEA regulations
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Yes, i am. This one was conceived naturally. My husband has left this world, but I'm sure he watching over us. This one is a girl. We do still have 3 frozen embryos that I will probably have to donate.
@Susan god bless you Susan, I’m so sorry for your recent loss. I imagine you have very many around you who love you and can help you to get through. You’re so strong and I’m very grateful that you are on here helping others 🙏🏼
@Rebecca I see! I’m so pleased you could have a boy when you had your heart set on it. I’m 50.9% girl but also a boy would be lovely so I’ll see if just blessed to be pregnant again 🙏🏼 I have a video call early next week to discuss any questions. Weirdly you don’t look at profiles of donors and choose, they just chose it for you based on photos. 🤷🏻♀️
I used an egg donor with my last, and I truly love him so much! I honestly dont feel any different toward him than my others.