If you’re having a baby shower and you want all girls only, does that include gays as well? Or are you taking the all girls thing quite literally?

I mean he’s a guy. Being gay doesn’t make him a girl…

It should be whoever she wants to invite. Him being gay is irrelevant. I don’t think you were necessarily wrong to say he would have liked to of been a part of it depending on how it was worded as she may not even have thought about it.

I personally think it wasn't your business to say anything tbh. It was HER baby shower, so as much as I understand your brothers hurt, I wouldn't have said anything.

It’s understandable his feelings are hurt, but at the end of the day it’s her baby shower and not anyone else’s. She can invite who she wants. I don’t think it’s really right to tell her she’s being out of order about who she invites to her own party.

It's her choice who she invites to her baby shower

Wasn’t your place to try to “fix”.

I mean, it’s HER baby shower so…

Her party her rules. My gay friends came to my hen do but I didn’t invite them to my baby shower, just assumed they wouldn’t be interested- also kept my pregnancy very low key

If she wants only girls - then only girls should be going His sexuality is irrelevant to having a girls night, it’s her night, I’m sure if they are close they will still celebrate in their own way but for one night it’s just her choice for the party

I think just because they’re really close doesn’t mean he should go. I’m sure she’s really close with her partner (if there is one I don’t like to assume) but he’s not going so why should the cousin? I said no kids at my baby shower and one of my aunts got offended because I’m close to my cousin and she’s on the older side (8). If I had her I would have had to have all of my cousins which included a 1 year old so I said no kids and that was my choice. It’s her day just let it be about her

Definitely not your place to fix or say anything… I do feel for him though!

To be fair I’d just ask her for a list of people she wants 🤷🏼‍♀️ I had my gay best friend at mine but I guess it’s just that persons preference

If I have something to say I’m the type to just say it. If she changes her mind great but if not that’s cool too, I don’t care who she wants at her baby shower however I do feel like she should know how he feels though but she jumped straight to defence mode and got sassy which I did not appreciate at all. Him being her best cousin and not being part of any of it is a bit disappointing as you can imagine.

@Amy So if you share yours and your brother’s feelings on the matter to her I think it’s only fair she shows her emotions about it too. You think she’s being unfair, and she thinks you’re being unfair by the sounds of it. She is probably being “sassy” because she thought you were being sassy, and it’s her party.

@Amy it’s her party. She can invite or not invite whoever she wants. His relationship to her is irrelevant

@Jade I don’t understand her way but cool, we’ll agree to disagree.

@Lennox I never disregarded that. I know it’s her baby shower and I’m allowed to have my own opinion and voice how I feel. Of course her relationship with him or with anyone is relevant WHAT DO YOU MEAN? Isn’t that what you consider when inviting someone? So if your best friend has a baby shower and she doesn’t invite you, you wouldn’t question it? Won’t feel a type of way? Well then that’s you 🤣 fair it’s HER baby shower and SHE has or doesn’t have whoever SHE wants BUT I’ll never understand her way. I’ll move on but until then ima say what I feel init

@Amy you reactions say you didn’t get the responses you were hoping for 😅😂 speak your mind all you want. But it’s still her party. I’d be sassy too if you tried to tell me/guilt me about who I chose to invite to MY baby shower 🤷🏼‍♀️ I think @Lennox point was that if she wants all girls, the relationship to this man, while gay, doesn’t make him a girl, so is irrelevant..

@Amy I used to be the type that would speak for others or say the first thing that comes to mind but I had to change my ways and the way I think because it wasn’t doing me any good and I was potentially hurting others. The real question is how did you approach her? How did you say it? Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it. You also should have just encouraged your brother to express his feelings to her about the situation, not YOU. It sounds like you took it personally whereas your cousin was simply wanting it to be all girls for her own reasons. It’s her baby shower after all. Sometimes people will do things you disagree with but doesn’t mean you have to speak on everything. Let her have her day and I hope this didn’t put a dent in all three of y’all friendship.

@Amy I think you should take a step back and realize it’s her day, and you don’t need to voice an opinion about everything. She is pregnant, she probably has enough to deal with than making sure every single person is happy with how she does things. I hope this doesn’t mess up your relationship.

@Alexis its personal preference, her personal preference is completely different to mine. If im doing an all girls thing im incl all the gays and those who identify as girls, *IN MY OPINION* it doesn’t seem fair to not include them. Personally I wouldn’t do it that way and that’s okay, you can argue it’s her baby shower all you want but that doesn’t tell me she considered him one bit considering how close they claim to be.

@Alexis thank you!

@Amy cool story. The only opinion that matters in this situation is hers 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Amy she doesn’t have to consider him. He’s a guy. She wanted girls. I’m not sure what you’re missing at this point…

@Amy you’re obviously quite thick in the head about this. I can see why she would have been sassy, hell if she wasn’t seems like you’d still be pestering her about who to invite to HER DAY. Jesus Christmas. What @Lennox said. She probably didn’t consider him, because she wants only girls. So you’re right? And hey, I totally understand inviting them if they identify as woman, but you’ve called them “him” repeatedly. So I get the feeling that’s not the case *facepalm*

@Leah i predict it will now, he has expressed he has always imagined to be part of her baby shower because it’s a huge milestone, a baby shower is just as big as an engagement or a wedding and from my brothers point, he won’t be included in those big milestones so fuck yeah of course he’s gonna be hurt. I just approached her telling her what he told me about how he feels hoping she would reconsider but not pushing her to either just more so make her aware of his feelings. Her response was “not tryna hear it, I don’t have time for it, it’s my baby shower I do what the fuck I want”. The sass wasn’t needed and it didn’t need to be so rude

@Amy it isn’t your place. It just isn’t.

@Amy I can definitely see why his feelings were hurt but that’s why he should’ve spoken to her and not you, it’s a possibility they could have had a better outcome. Sometimes people don’t like to hear it from the middle man. Yeah, her response would have caught me off guard but that should show you it probably wasn’t your place to say anything. She’s probably overwhelmed enough when it comes to the baby shower. I would just give her some space but hopefully she didn’t mean any harm by not inviting him.

I wouldn't class a baby shower as a huge ''milestone'' most women don't even have one. I think you're both being very self entitled, instead of thinking negatively and trying to make her day about yours and your brother's feelings, then why don't you throw her another surprise "shower" for family only, it would be a lovely gesture. Also please try to remember your hormones are everywhere when you're pregnant, you're growing a tiny human, if she's been sassy regarding your opinion to her shower then it's completely allowed, so just take it on the chin and move on.

I don’t think there was harm in asking if she’d consider, however, it is a girls night. Having a baby is something a woman is going through and probably needs to be around other women to feel that support and understanding. Appreciate that he’s gay and a friend, but it would probably make her uncomfortable if maybe the conversation started to lean towards things to do with women. Being pregnant is something a woman goes through, it’s not a man thing and she has a right to decide who goes. Personally if he was a very close friend I’d have just invited him. Can he be flamboyant sometimes?

@Leah and he actually did speak to her! He laid everything out to her and she basically just said in other words like tough deal with it. It’s not my feelings she hurting it’s my brothers. It is what it is now. She’s pregnant she’ll always play the victim lol but it’s kind of awkward now

She’s playing victim because she only wants girls there? The audacity of you two is wild😂😂

@Amy ahh gotcha. Yeah, this sucks cause I can imagine y’all were close. 🥲

@Jade that’s fine your opinion. Having a baby is a big milestone that’s what I meant. Thats not a bad idea actually that way EVERYONE would be included but really not assed if I’m honest. Nah she’s always been a sassy girl, it’s not because she pregnant lmao trust me I know my cousin

@Lennox I can tell you have a lot of time 🤣 go find a hobby babe.

@Amy says the one who thinks her opinion matters and blocks anyone who disagrees with it 😂

@Leah we actually are close, all opinionated individuals and we have tough conversations all the time. I’m sure in due time it’ll sort itself out hopefully!

@Lennox oh so you’re the online bullies everyone’s talking about? 🤣🤣🤣 I can definitely see why. I’m not the one dm’ing in a group talking about people but I’ll let you do you if that’s what makes you happy. Have a good one 👍🏼

@Amy just because someone disagrees with you doesn’t make them a bully. Get thicker skin

@Amy no idea what you’re talking about but keep being weird.

@Lennox it’s giving high school, you and the other lady. Find another hobby that’s not gossiping about people in the DM’s. You’d think it’s a spam account lmao

@Amy no one is gossiping about people 😂😂😂

It’s giving you have entitlement 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Lennox do you want the last words? You can have it if it means that much to you but you’re actually spamming everyone’s notifications and everything you’re saying is irrelevant now to what the post is actually about so have a day off babe.

@Farah yeah I would too! Not even, but even if he was what’s the problem? She wanted dress codes as well so she wants everyone in nude. He wouldn’t have had a problem with the dress codes

I mean - it’s her baby shower. She doesn’t have to include anyone she doesn’t. She wants only girls & that decision should be respected.

I would think actually a gay guy might be insulted by this invite. But who knows. It’s what she wants that counts imo

Like i thinks its very personal. I would definitely do girls and gays, but maybe in her point of view he is a male and he is not invited, which in a way i can see the logic even if its not what i would do. Maybe you should try to be more clear and say i think my brother would really like to come and i think he will feel left out

@Sarah even she can see he’ll be left out, it doesn’t take someone to mention it to her for her to know that, course she knows. there’s no point in talking to her anymore she’s made up her mind and I’ll leave it now.

If he is “one of the girls” usually then yesss