Don’t seem to mix well with new mums!

I don’t seem to mix well with new mums at baby / toddler groups! I have a teenager and a 1 year old, most of the mums I’ve met have been first time mums. I find it hard to interact in the conversation because they all seem to have the ‘there’s one way to raise a child’ view (which is all the advice you read now online) and they all seem to agree with each other, it may be because I have eldest son I’m raising my baby in a similar way to what I did the eldest and as advice changes over time it seems to be very different now than 14 years ago! 14 years ago we didn’t have the social media advice I raised my eldest using advice from friends and family, I keep my opinions to myself and don’t disagree openly with anyone but i still find it hard to mix with the first time mums as I feel I have less and less in common with mums now, Anyone else felt this way?

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Hey, I have a soon to be 15 year old and an 8 month old! So I get it! So much has changed these years when it comes to parenting! I’m still doing it the same! I’m an admin in a group chat on insta. It’s filled with moms of different walks of life, and we don’t care how each other parents, because there is no “right” way. Send me a message if you want and I can add you :)

@Megan thank you, I’m not on Insta but thank you for the thought and offer ❤️ I’m definitely in the mind set that everyone does things there own way and I don’t judge but find it hard when everyone seems so judgmental 🙈, I mentioned I was thinking about getting a cot bumper as my eldest had one and my baby keeps bumping head on cot and you’d have thought I was worst parent on earth the looks I had from everyone! I get the recent advice is because of new research and studies and I’m open to things but I wasn’t aware of that research about cot bumpers but everyone was just done interacting with me after that 🙈

I’m sorry that is the experience you are having! It’s definitely a struggle and everyone seems to think they know best! You know your babies and what is best for them! I have mesh bumper in my son’s crib because he was constantly sticking his arms and legs through the bars and then trying to roll. So I prefer having them to avoid a broken bone.

I don’t even just feel like this with other mums, it’s with health professionals aswell. I’ve got 4 eldest a few weeks off being 16 and then a 12 yo then had a big gap and got a 3 and 2 year old. Having to remind my hv and gp how many times I’ve raised a child before and how old they actually are. It’s infuriating. I get times change and so does advice but there’s no need for the condescending tone when advising someone. I also made the mistake when I had my 3 year old of getting a cot bumper too 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣 happens to the best of us don’t worry x

Thank you both, it makes me feel better I’m not alone, I just need to find like minded people locally I guess, I’m in UK so nowhere near you both! I loved baby groups with my eldest but I had 6 friends who had babies at that time and none of my friends have little ones now!

Yes it’s definitely been a struggle to find local friends for me too. Everyone is way younger then me having kids so I just feel awkward going to baby groups lol

@L N I agree about health professionals too, I’ve had couple of disagreements with health visitor !!

I've got an 18 year old and 1 year old ☺️👍 I am raising the younger one slightly differently. My social circle is rather small so I don't get many comments about my parenting styles

I pretty much gave up on baby groups. I'm uk based and an older mum, so most people don't want to talk to me despite my best efforts. I'm Gloucestershire based, if you're anywhere near by.