Work

I am forced to work due to separation and needing to refinance my home. My kids are almost 11 and 12 but my youngest I am home for due to distance education for medical reasons. I am finding it hard to get an interview I guess due to my age (44) and having been out of work for 12 years. It is quite stressful as even if I do land a job I need to pay a babysitter etc to care for my kids as I have no support around me. I feel your pain.

Try to look at it from the perspective of what you will gain rather than what you will lose. Lots of mums with young kids return to work either by totally wanting to or due to financial or other reasons and you can achieve a good balance. Happiness is possible. I'm living proof of that (I have 3 small kids and work-full time). My advice is to consider what your family priorities are so that you can work out a plan that considers the family's financial needs and your priorities in life. For example, this may include resuming work on a part-time or casual basis in the first year and then re-evaluating the arrangement after a year. Try to be open minded about the possibility of a working parent being able to co-exist with the notion of a happy and present parent. They are not mutually exclusive. Having had the benefit of seeing 3 of my kids go through childcare, I realise how beneficial this has been for them so each time I returned to work (when they were 11 months old), the return was easier and easier.

Women that do want to go back to work are not highly sensitive or emotionally maternal, and are sad but more relieved to have their baby or 6 month old looked after in daycare and they look at it like, freedom, break etc. The ones that are highly sensitive and emotionally attached to their babies are the ones that rather give that comfort and love to them at home, rather than scream and cry it out every day at daycare. For ppl that say, first few days are hard, no it's first few months sometime and eventually the child just cries less because they know they are staying there for 8 or 10hrs. Sucks for ppl that have no help at home or no choice but to say it's not that bad, be positive and look at the benefits, or look I'm full time and I got 4 babies... ya it's unreal unhinged. They have A type personalities and always have. It's out stressful that ur partner is stressing you out? Having less babies is less stress but closer in age is hardest.hope u can get through together. Most money goes to daycare

The transition for me was easier as I was going back to my same job just part time. My youngest also did a few days with my mum before we attempted daycare. Initially she hated it and it was so hard to do drop off. Now she has been going 2mths and she seems much happier. My eldest started daycare when I was on maternity leave with my second so he was already use to the routine although we still have days he doesn’t want to go. I don’t like to leave my children but financially I have to work. It’s very hard at first then as the kids settle you do too. They do eventually get in the routine and like going.

Don’t let anyone make you feel less of a kind loving mother because you have to return to work. Times are hard enough.