Is this normal?!
Show your support
Change your password. Simple. No issue one person not giving their password but to then be so sneaky about it is a big no. Without knowing your past with him and why he's acting like that..I'd simply say time to be on the same path. Either y'all both are open or not at all.
Change your password and have a sit down discussion about him violating not only your privacy but the privacy of those he's reading conversations from.
@Alyson I have two phone because I work in commercial sales. And my job pays for us to have a second line. But he has done it when I only had one phone. I have never cheated on him. But from what I understand his mom used to cheat on his dad. Maybe that could the at the root. But after all this time I am just over it
Its time for him to seek therapy to work through his issues then
The fact you don’t know his password and he goes through your stuff seems like a red flag. Is it because he’s the one doing something wrong? Change your passwords and don’t let anyone on your stuff, see how he reacts then.
I would now say you’re not sharing your passcode. Even if you have nothing to hide in say terms of cheating, you’re still entitled to privacy the same way everyone is. You still should be able to not have to stress that he is invading every bit of your privacy. I also would say like others have that he needs personal therapy for himself. I wouldn’t like it if my bf was fishing through my stuff but yet doesn’t share his own passcode, it then feels controlling. The point I’ve read of sharing both of your passwords is not so you can both snoop around but because it’s always open, there’s nothing to hide. But even if he had a feeling he should look through it or had a feeling you were cheating, the number one step is to talk to you about it, not go through your phone as he may have an empty accusation that’s just going to harm the relationship and yourself. Take that openness away from him because he is abusing it and he has an unhealthy mindset and clearly doesn’t trust you and
That’s what I’d be telling him
The way he’s going through your phone are you sure he’s not projecting? Cuz typically when people think you are up to something it’s cuz they are guilty of something….
Update: Ok so I brought it up. He kept asking what was wrong. And I said “did you recently go through my message “. He said “No I put that on our kids that I did not go through your stuff recently what made you ask that. “ I said, my tablet was open to some messages from 2019. He said no I didn’t go through anything. What are you scared you got caught in something? And then he started laughing. Which pissed me off. Then I said no I don’t have a problem with you going through my my stuff I just find it ridiculous that you feel that you have to do these things. I also find it an issue that I do not have access to your phone, but you have the passcode to my things.
Him: oh I have given you my pass code several times it’s the kids initials. And then he ran through their initials. I said that’s not the passcode that’s a bunch of letters. And last time you said it was their birthday. Y’all, I am so irritated. I just don’t know what to believe right now.
Oh he’s deflecting… mixed with the going through your messages… he’s up to something…
Change your codes and the kids code. When he says something asks for his. Because love, guilt ALWAYS shows up as consistent accusations! Check the ins and outs of that dude phone 🤣 don’t let him play in yah face. He got some nerve 😒
The fact he’s lying about what his passcode is….. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Do not let that man get into ur phones or iPads. The problem is your damned if you do and damned if you don’t with this situation. If he gives you his chances are he scrubbed his phone and everything is deleted. Or he’ll just change his passcode when he wants to hide something knowing you don’t look through his shit but on the slight chance you do he’s safe until you ask for it and he can scrub the phone again. If you don’t give him yours he’s going to accuse you 24/7 and gaslight you to make you believe you’re hiding something. With the added info this is more than an insecurity so my answer changes. Check that phone of his when he least expects it. Demand it. If he doesn’t hand it over you have your answer.
May not be the best answer but I’m petty. Change ur passcode 🤷🏻♀️ He wants yours then you have his. He changes his then you change yours. He doesn’t give his then he doesn’t have yours. Why do you have two phones? Is that what could be making him feel insecure? When I hear second phone I think it’s the hoe phone although I know some people have that for a business line. lol My fiancé was like that with my location, I said you can have it no problem I have nothing to hide but you need to give me yours.