Biting my Tongue

My husband and I have been together coming on 7 years. all with its challenges on its own but added difficulty with my SD’s mom. She’s made multiple threats about me, my unborn babies and my husband. Recently my husband had a conversation with her mentioning how she always seems to be still needing extra money outside of the $700 child support for groceries and what not while we are currently making it work on my full time job while he’s in school. She only has my SD, and we have two kids plus my SD when she stays with us. She took extreme offense (we know for a fact that any money sent isn’t all going to my SD). she then proceeded to text me directly spewing out a bunch of information she thought i wasn’t aware of. she thinks im clueless and that my husband doesn’t tell me anything from his past. I of course wasn’t surprised by anything she told me. She insulted my husband and me in this lengthy message and i’m debating on if i want to feed into and respond (not in an aggressive way). I know she’s looking for a rise but i hate that she thinks she knows our marriage and relationship. He’s completely changed since i met him and she refuses to see or believe that cause she’s not with him. Do i bother responding or just leave it? I’ve bit my tongue for so long i just don’t know if I should say MY piece and leave it as is.

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I don’t think it would be wrong to set a healthy boundary that those types of Messages sent to you are not welcome or appropriate

I can definitely relate and have had similar situations in my 8 year relationship with my husband and SD. Not the financials specifically but everything else lol I would say don’t react because that’s honestly what she wants. Anything you say is going to trigger another response and for what? I guarantee that no response at all will drive her way more crazy and let her know you’re not going to play her game. I typically don’t bother responding if it’s not going to be productive or beneficial which is 99% of the time in my case. Based on what you shared It seems shes texting you for a reaction vs to talk like two adults. BMs like that are the true definition of misery loves company. Shes unhappy with what she has and wants you to feel the same. I say save the energy enjoy and cuddle with your man 😉

I responded in the most non aggressive way possible, i said my piece and wanted it to be a beneficial conversation for the sake of my SD. she doesn’t need to see or hear me and her mom arguing. but as my husband expected, she responded in a more aggressive manner and trying to start problems. she didn’t get the rise she wanted out me but man i wish things were easier for the sake of my SD.

Definitely respond and set some boundaries