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Advice

I’m a newly single mom of 2 boys- a 2 year old and 6 month old. Back in January, my ex kicked my kids and I all out of our home for another woman. He does not speak to them, does not visit them, does not help at all. He’s said he doesn’t want to be a father and is persuing his own happiness. That aside, I’m doing better than I was mentally. Unfortunately, he kept my car and left me with literally nothing. I’m struggling so hard right now and just need advice. What are some tricks you guys use to get your kids in bed on your own? My boys are very clingy and like to be rocked to sleep but it is SO hard to do that with both of them at the same time as my oldest is also very jealous of attention that I give to his brother. How do you guys go about doing day to day tasks with little to no help? My parents help as much as they can but both also work full time… I don’t have much of anybody else. I’m struggling to find daycare and the one I have found is $450 a week for both of them which I can’t afford. I don’t know how people do this, I am so tired…

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Have you tried laying down with the both of them & snuggling with them till they fall asleep, and then move one or the other to where they should be? I’m sorry you’re going through this, I promise it gets easier

We all just did bedtime together

Brooklyn, sorry to hear you’re going through this and it’s so shitty that he can just decide not to be a father without helping you any. I’ve been through similar but BD left for about a year to rehab and “work on himself” while I got left at home with same ages as yours, no job or any money at all. Thankfully I had my mom that reached out and had me and the kids come live with her so she could help and I wouldn’t be alone. Since you are in Indiana, I would definitely seek child support asap. You can reach Christian Legal Aid for any free legal advice. I would apply for CCDF asap because the process can take a while to be interviewed and accepted and this is free or reduced childcare for working or in school parent. There are also income driven apartments you can apply for and they aren’t all horrible but can take time to get into. But if you can stay with family while you get on your feet, that’s even better. You could also look into getting Snap and WIC benefits as well.

For you and the kids, especially if he is not helping with anything. You may even be eligible for TANF, not sure the requirements on that. Accept any help from your family and do not feel bad for it. Leave an unhealthy relationship and just pos person eventually with time you will keep feeling more free and mentality better, especially as the pieces start falling into place for you and your babies. It’ll be exhausting for a little while, but you got this. Your babies won’t be so little for long and it’ll get easier as you go and as they grow.